Am i a faulty device?
Maybe.
To be eccentric means to have one's axis located elsewhere,and not at the geometrical centre.
A deviant perhaps?
Maybe
Patterns in behaviour,exsist to offer us some amount of insight...to let us know "look you are doing it AGAIN!"
So, i've been trying to figure it out,my aim for simplicity is almost always ruined by self sabotage.Well,to put it rather flatly, if it doesn't involve resistance and hard work it probably isnt worth fighting for. Why is it soo difficult to accept things at face value?
I've been like that all my life,my appreciation for things/conquests are directly propotional to amount of back breaking feats i'll have to encounter.Thats probably my twisted logic dictating;NOTHING COMES EASY and there's no such thing as A FREE LUNCH!
I don't know how to deal with attention and appreciation directed towards me by my partner probably because at the peak of most of my (dys)functional relationships, i was the one who'd shower the other with attention and appreciation.Was that an unfair statement?maybe.Seriously i don't think this is going to leave anyone messed up.Its a statement based on what i used to be like in the past.
Also,sometimes...when i feel pressured or lets say suffocated (which isn't the case now,i am not suffocated nor am i pressured)...i act up like a spoilt child...which is plain rotten...not proud of it,but yes i have identified it.
The question now remains,will i be myself,and be able to give my 200% in any new relationship?
Yes i would like to think so,as i'm a huge fan of compartmentalization, my past is nicely packed away and yes it is the foundation for one's future,but its not an excuse,not for me.
However,after saying all that, let me just clarify that thoughts and actions are fluid,i'm changing daily,i'm learning something new everyday, i'm learning to be a little less selfish, i'm getting reacquainted with the notion of sharing spaces.It takes a little getting used to...
AM i AFRAID?
Maybe.
Are you going to be around to walk me through this?
2 comments:
Will you let me to walk you through this...
p/s: Try not to WALK OUT OFF this without even trying.
Yes, of course we're here to walk with you, instead of walking you through this. You've always been your own worst analyst, we can't stop you from feeling things, but we can deal with them. Thus, we walk with you. I am already running. Give me time to catch up with you! I want to know everything!
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