Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Rainmaker

My mum calls me The Rainmaker, not because i remind her of the John Grisham novel but because, its always raining when i arrive or it starts to rain when i'm about to leave home,some believe its a good omen. I'm just not too sure why.

The weekend was fantastic, i drove home after a super long friday,left the island at about 10pm and was home in the nick of time (15mins to midnight) just to blow candles and wish Girish.

Family lunch was abso-fucking-lutely lovely, it was great just to break bread together, laugh and have animated conversations. Beekins and Reena made an effort to be present and that by itself said a lot. This family of mine is leaving yet again for another 3months at most, to complete the bridging course and the exam. Our midnight conversations will have to be put on hold for the time being.

I had this warm fuzzy feeling inside the whole time, it had been  sometime since i had seen Appu, let alone have a meal with him. Papa was of course very cute,as he loves poking everyone's food.

On the way back, i did something i hadn't done in a long long time, i slept in my mum's arms and it was serene, it made me feel like nothing in the world could spoil my moment now...nothing mattered. I guess i'll never really grow up, i'll always be my parents' baby. The funny thing is, all 3 of us are like that, with Girish being the biggest baby. He'd climb on both my parents as if he was a toddler, mind you we are talking about a 181cm 75 kg adult! Till today he cuddles my mum and dad at night; and when either Appu or I are home he loves jumping into bed with us just to chat, ask questions and share a little bit of his thoughts.

He's a wonder child. Cheers to you Girish, please remain the way you are.

Anyway, today was nothing less than special as well, as always, Mum made breakfast and Papa fussed over me...while i sat staring at the Laptop Screen cussing and groaning,they pretended not to hear a word i was saying and were cracking jokes between themselves.

M: "The temperature in the kitchen is a little high isn't it Hari?"

P: "urm...yeah..*chuckles*...yes...very hot in here la Sus, i think we should ban office work in the kitchen"

They actually thought i wasn't listening. 

I'd honestly be lost without my folks.

The next 3 months will be all work and no play, till the Bees get home that is.

Jason Tan Hon Pin and Reena Charlene Lopes,go kick some Aussie ass,ill see you guys soon.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

p53

As I write this, Muse’s Feeling Good is playing; the beauty about that song is that it is a positive song with a melancholic undertone. Perfect asymmetry.
As writing seems to be an important component of self exploration, I’ve found that music provides the perfect soundtrack to your moods and emotions, I’m in that place where indifference and serenity covers my anxiety, what better music could you think of than Gotan Project?

Do you know why most organizations rebrand?

I’ll tell you why I’d rebrand; nothing beats being able to redesign your identity, to be able to make art out of plain canvas, to be new and to be able to rebrand is ultimately being able to turn back time, now wouldn’t you trade that for anything?
Rebranding grants you a second lease on life, when I say life, I don’t mean turn back time, or undo mistakes; just teaching you how to handle the truth and making right out of a wrong situation. Most of the time,these situations are left as they are and it heads towards a downward spiral.

Reena once told me

“I’ve always thought of a life story, a memoir...but who are my target audience? Your life’s pretty interesting babe, your life could be a story”

Well, I could safely say my life was anything but mundane, how many could say that? No hang on; put me on national television and I’ll say “I’m a pretty boring person”

Most of the time all I do is day dream, and I mean dream big. As I have an affinity for reaffirming and sounding repetitive I’d like to say once again that I simple have Taste, I only want the BEST, see? Now that wasn’t too difficult to understand was it?

Musicals; have always been something that releases enormous amounts of endorphins into my stream, alongside exercise and my 3 great friends. Whenever i think back, I realise that I’ve completely locked out my really bad memories like how one would do everything to polish a scratch off a car door. I could be incredibly positive about life, and these days I nothing but think big impossible dreams (by definition of someone who is mediocre ) or in my lingo, big very plausible dreams.

Reena’s midnight chat went something like this:
R: So I was thinking maybe you can come visit bee and me once we’ve settled down in Melbourne, but that would be impossible if your leave is over...
V: Don’t worry babe, I’m sure something would pop up enabling me to be there...
R: YEAH!! You could get fired!
V: Why not hired, but this time in Melbourne? Why so bleak?
R: Bahahahahahahaahahahaha...
Yes that was literally the conversation.

I would like to think of myself as an acquired taste, like a rare bottle of vintage Pinot Noir, Foie Gras and maybe Beluga caviar.

A brief look at old me: DJ-ed at Hard Rock Moscow, thought English to an expatriate family, extremely into team sports, part nerd part juvenile delinquent, wanna-be speed racer, potential Patch Adams. I’m also quite an eccentric individual with exceptionally good taste in cars, watches and music. Could be painfully selfish and narcissistic. Still I think I get a lot of love and admiration from those who know of me.

There was a time of my life which when i really think about it, i realise that i wasn’t at all proud of whom i had become, and as clichéd as that might sound, i think thats what had made me who i am today. They say every curve ball life sends your way is meant to be an angle of evolution. I am evolving. Definitely.

I kept what i liked very much about myself and am constantly in a battle to eliminate all those things i thoroughly dislike about myself.
Perhaps we could agree upon the fact that I am a far cry from whom i used to be, a better version perhaps? Viroshini 3.0?

A very dear person to me once told me that none of us could restart with a clean slate without some amount of self bashing. Isn’t that the purpose of a clean slate?

How would you evolve without acceptance or closure?

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine, who summed me up very nicely; you think highly of yourself but aren’t egoistic, impatient, loyal, laidback, ambitious, easy to get along with and loves being pampered.

Fair enough, I would agree with that summation. The only thing she left out was short tempered.
Where would I see myself going this year? Not too sure at this very moment, perhaps I should consult the Tarot card reader whom I met today at work.

Work. Now work’s pretty interesting, i meet a wide range of characters, they all add spice to my life, its quite amazing how we could grasp soo much if we used the power of observation.

I love to people watch. Its like bird watching but only you are free to use your imagination and classify into genus and species that you want, not reference books or vision aid, just you, your imagination and a whole load of people.

Sometimes, we get a knot in our stomachs it’s more of an ESP thing, it’s what happens when you are full of anticipation and someone totally teases you with the information-by of course withholding it!...

I love surprises, good ones of course and life’s full of good surprises...at least i think so, I’m a fan of Mr.Brightside remember?

When you want to get all fired up a good tune would be Wagner’s Flight of the Valkyries. Trust me on that one.

Oh by the way, p53 is actually a Guardian Genome, see what it does is that...ill continue this in about 10minutes...

Monday, March 09, 2009

Folie A Deux

That literally translates into 'Madness between two'. We'd be lucky enough if in our lifetime to ever have a moment of 'folie a deux' ...most of us go through life hoping to never encounter such a beautiful and profound moment,which could only be shared with someone soo dear to you and of course loved.

Its a matter of having the same wavelength, principles and naturally similar or opposing passions.

Last week was eventful, there were extremly beautiful moments and absolutely mind boggling ones; i don't know why i didn't make it into the top 6- thats mind boggling.

I had achieved what i intended with both my family and extended family over the last week, i remained my usual optimistic self till last thursday,which was the day i discovered they had already selected the TOP 6.

Oh well, maybe i at meant for greatness, just not as a Rookie. As beekins put it, 

"Professional drivers just don't qualify to be rookies babe!"

That aside,what really baffles me is the fact that we were told that we'd be informed personally-that was a verbal honour and too bad, it doesn't exsist in today's world, The knowledge of that had actually left me quite surprised as i thought, the younger and more exposed we are, chances are we'd honour our words; sometimes your principles are sidelined.You wouldn't have much of a spine left by the time you turn 30.

I've been trying to get my hands on Faust by Goethe...Malaysia is quite an infant,and needs some exposure,and Malaysians,just don't read enough.