How do we handle bad days?
See i've got this play list on the ipod 'me, myself and i'- all the songs that keep me rooted/sane/going and another called 'self-gratification'-ok that just speaks for itself.*shit*
If i've had a bad day, i'd just recline and let the music take over...suddenly everything would seem insignificant and trivial.
Anyway, today wasn't a bad day all together, actually...it was quite nice.
The NATOs met up today, to finally confirm who's getting the contract.
Here goes, victory wasn't ours...Patil has got it.
For some funny reason he hasn't got the guts to call me personally, he asked Ritz to find out the outcome of the meeting...mmm...
It was quite simple handling an invertebrate actually:
"i believe you are serving wine?...with indian food?...which wine?"
"....french wine, our stock JUUSSSTTT came in"
"its called?"
"ahh...i don't know what its called...can i call you back?"
He hasn't called back...aiy...wanna lie also lie laaa properly...involved in the service industry but dunno how to lie, stupid fuck!
Well, the highlight of the day was Din din with Syu, she's been craving sushi and i've been stalling...it was nice, i think i earned brownie points earlier...*chuckling*
When she saw it, she actually couldn't believe it was for NOTHING...am i that conniving?
Yes, the small things make a great difference.
They say, i've got an abnormal talent for scoring brownie points and losing them all the moment i earn em.
Been thinking of a few things-which is harder? not being a stranger or keeping in touch?
of course this then has to be divided into platonic and intimate relationships...
I guess for me personally keeping in touch has been easy, for its superficial.
Not being a stranger, would require effort...and time...COMFORT.
Been conducting a research, i only asked 3 people but that qualifies as research in my books.
I got different answers:
1)Keeping in touch would mean having hope ; not being a stranger needs time.
2)Keeping in touch is fine, but even if you can't, you shouldn't be a stranger for everything we've shared.
3)For me both is difficult, but i guess keeping in touch is less demanding on both parties.
Of late, i've been pulling studies out of my A**, and i know thats cheating, but seriously spices up conversations,right?
Here's the other thing thats been bugging me-Freedom, i've got it in my hands and yet i'm afraid, why?...
Freedom here would be in reference to 'freedom of choice', more like where do i go from here?
Its all in my hands, what if i fuck up?
(yes please don't say thats the only way to learn)
OK i just got a call, Dee's inviting me over for smoothies...its a banana+mango+strawberries smoothie...
Later then...
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
So...
This is how i spent the last sunday of the month, acoording to Reena, i'm only here to move the couch.
According to Myself...i'm...just here...
Yea so thats how CJ looks when the camera excites her...
Me often wonders, how small things makes great difference to one's 'dork' like portrayal.
Just for the record CJ, you can't speak cantonese with an indian accent and then mock me for my handicapped tamil!
Top anats exam on the 31st of May, bee kins is busy playing 'the god father'...
In his defence, he was taking a break...
Someones busy preparing dinner, ginger chicken.
And...it was a lovely view from where i was sitting...
Some peeling action there...one of those 'GOLEN' moments
Right, this was the reason the camera came out in the first place...to record history in the making.
CJ/REENA/BEE KINS' study room cum kitchen.
It was a good sunday...obviously i gave no input when it came to translation, and i ruined the atmosphere...but, hey i was a welcomed break wasn't i?...guys?
P/s: CJ's only pretending to study because the camera came out.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Never Talk to Strangers
A :If there is no God, then who, one wonders, rules the life of man and keeps the world in order?
B :Man rules himself
A :I beg your pardon; but to rule one must have a precise plan worked out for some reasonable period ahead. Allow me to enquire how man can control his own affairs when he is not only incapable of compiling a plan for some laughably short term, such as, say, a thousand years, but cannot even predict what will happen to him tomorrow? In fact, imagine what would happen if you, for instance, were to start organising others and yourself, and you developed a taste for it-then suddenly you get...a heart attack... *cat like grin*
A :Yes, a heart attack! And then thats the end of you as an organiser! No one's fate except your own interests you any longer. Your relations start lying to you. Sensing that something's amiss you rush to a specialist, then to a charlatan, even perhaps a fortune-teller. Each of them is as useless as the other, as you know perfectly well. And it all ends in tragedy; the man who thought he was in charge is suddenly reduced to lying prone and motionless in a wooden box and his fellow men, realising that there is no more sense to be had of him, incinerate him.
Fate's a cheeky bastard. *sigh*
B :Man rules himself
A :I beg your pardon; but to rule one must have a precise plan worked out for some reasonable period ahead. Allow me to enquire how man can control his own affairs when he is not only incapable of compiling a plan for some laughably short term, such as, say, a thousand years, but cannot even predict what will happen to him tomorrow? In fact, imagine what would happen if you, for instance, were to start organising others and yourself, and you developed a taste for it-then suddenly you get...a heart attack... *cat like grin*
A :Yes, a heart attack! And then thats the end of you as an organiser! No one's fate except your own interests you any longer. Your relations start lying to you. Sensing that something's amiss you rush to a specialist, then to a charlatan, even perhaps a fortune-teller. Each of them is as useless as the other, as you know perfectly well. And it all ends in tragedy; the man who thought he was in charge is suddenly reduced to lying prone and motionless in a wooden box and his fellow men, realising that there is no more sense to be had of him, incinerate him.
Fate's a cheeky bastard. *sigh*
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Faust
| Say at last-who art thou? 'That power i serve, Which wills forever evil, Yet does forever good' GOETHE-Faust |
and then?
| We dread certain situations because we almost certainly know this is the point where the good, bad and ugly gets flushed out. Last night was one of those. Initially, i was planning on absorbing some culture, borrowed Syu's Bulgakov. That didn't materialize as i played a prank on her about the lingerie party. Which i shouldn't have- being all 'partied' up isn't a good thing when there REALLY isn't gonna be a party! Well, we then decided on having some wine...then thought of topping it up with strawberries...and finally asking some friends to join in (we were sure that none would show up). But Hari showed up...which was surprising. For many reasons. Ritz had to layan some guests who had just arrived from India and he had to wait till they went to bed. Dipta was at a club with 'white people'...(identity crisis) "clubbing with white people...is rather odd" "dee, you do realise you are 'white'" "no...ok i mean...i'm just saying its soo different from clubbing with you guys.In a good way" |
Both hari and ritz aren't wine drinkers, syu and i invested a huge sum on our wine- Chablis...thats a really good wine, the kind that doesn't leave you with a headache or a hangover. The high is beautiful and you can keep drinking...all night. We had a bottle each, the guys were surprised, they didn't think we could both down a bottle each and still be sober...ok semi high and totally jolly. And i parted company with my bottle of JD to Hari and Ritz.Dear JD, it was good while it lasted...hahahaha.
Things were good and everyone went down memory lane...and then we moved on to sex and then some bedroom secrets (bad move). When i'm in the company of the right kind, i engage/ crack lame jokes/ get all hyper, When the company i have is unappealing, i don't talk. Infact i just observe. Which is what i was doing last night, Until...
Hari said something uncalled for, offensive, judgemental, shallow and totally inappropriate.
"you know, when you have anal sex and the woman enjoys it, you just know that she's a slut"
How dare you?...seriously...
To which i countered:
"what does that say about the person she's having it with?,you have no right to judge anyone in the bedroom, if your partner shares his/her fantasies with you and wants you to be a part of it, you should be honoured. That just shows that he/she is comfortable enough with you...its all about trust and comfort. You've got to remember that she's making herself vulnarable by letting you in on it.Infact you shouldn't discuss this with anyone but her...honestly hari, that is just shallow man"
A slut?...What year are we in? 1450?
SO i made a bitch statement about why is it sex is better with NON-ASIAN men. Didn't realise i check-mated myself.
Fuck...Everyone got excited
"i disagree,but do tell...come on..."-Hari
"Hari how can you disagree unless you've had sex with men?"-Me
"VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV!!!"-Syu
"And she finally speaks..."-Ritz
SO i didn't elaborate further, just excused myself and headed to the bathroom.Tried navigating the conversation to more friendly pastures after i got back.Worked.
Well, yes there are certain things people don't know about me, no matter how close or long we know each other. Syu seemed keen (she's got that smirk), she bugged me this morning about my statement.Yes love you are my best friend. It just wasn't important enough to be mentioned.It carries no weight at this point of time.Its left behind in a different dimension.
TO all you very curious people, my past isn't as colourful as you'd want it to be. I'm not secretive, its just unimportant.
Borders...i love em. Shields, even better.
p/s: Psychs, Chablis and strawberries?
Thursday, May 25, 2006
48Hours
The past 48 hours have been very laidback. Just the way i'd like life to be.
Got my hair cut, although i wanted something sharper...nah,this is fine for now, a day before my convocation i shall go get the Mohawk done. (the above pic is NOT it)
Haven't been to class, which isn't a good thing...but doesn't feel wrong.
Been unwinding. (not like i'm wound up or something, but its just one of those things that occur without much thought)
So much so,everyone who has spoken to me in the past few hours think i'm high on something.
Maybe its got to do with the fact that i didn't endure any form of non-intelligence.Today.
Or the fact that i 'spring-cleaned' my room...its spotless btw...
Have been talking to my parents a lot these few days, very happy for them-as my dad puts it
"its nothing big,but its an achievement all the same"
That reminds me, i have a cleft on my chin, now thats an inherited trait, as in one or both of the parents should have it ;neither my mum or dad have it.*deep in thought*-Ok CJ don't try my joke on me! "find out who the neighbour was at that time!!"
Ma thinks i need to chill out...Papa thinks i'm super cool, oh and i've inherited his lazy gene.Me thinks his sense of humor as well...One Hung Low and all.
Am suppose to be organizing a lingerie (pronounced as: LING-GER-RII) party at this moment, but looks like thats not happening eh?
My boss, SYU, wants everything done ASAP, you know sometimes i feel like an ALL-IN-ONE shampoo/instant mix.
I'm her slave, event manager, phone book, directory, friend, confidante', heart ache, head ache, cigarrette. God Knows what else.
Well Boo, here's an update:
Ritzy can't make it-coz he doesn't own any, and Reena's not planning on wearing any...that leaves me with my boxers-not very turning on, but hey at least i tried!
Its has been brought to my attention that, as an avid reader, i don't seem to be paying attention to the core meaning of the book i'm reading.I've had some helpful suggestions though-Glasses.
I think i look very nice/intellectual in glasses and i could also prove that statement valid: Refer to the attached PICTURE.
But, if i may, i don't think its related to my vision but it seems to be more of a language barrier.
Maybe i'm not translating the book i read correctly. Maybe its dependant on the state of my mind? Or does it suggest expectations?...
Note to author: Don't worry, i have no expectations-With great expectations come great disappointments.
Let me be the judge of the book i read.I like reviews, but thats just one man's opinion.
Everyone says Dan Brown's good, i say Only 2 books of his are good, the rest need help!
And then some say Tash Aw's terrible, i say he's book was a wonderful read.
Its all a matter of opinion and for now, let me make it clear that i refrain from being judgemental- for i find it pointless.
Allow me to savour my book, Please?
Yesterday was exciting though- CJ Reens and BeeKins were at Friday's celebrating CJ's 'DEBTLESS' Status. I on the other hand was stuck in traffic, during which time they managed to infuse enough alco to be a lil on the euphoric side of life.
SO, imagine walking into a packed restaurant, and the moment you are spotted they break out into a song:
"Who's that girl...Na-na-na-na-na-na...V's! that girl!" (repeat till you notice the dirty looks coming from neighbouring tables)
Then, to spice up the song- "oh my god!!!...her hair's sooo adorable!!!" (say the whole sentence with a slur)
They demanded on knowing ALL about my day, but funnily, they did all the talking.
No seriously, they were soo cute. Seeing them made my day.
Beekins on the other hand waited for his 'KUPPE' partner to start drinking, we had lynchburg lemonades. Came home super sober-thats because we only had one drink.
It was of course an excellent day. Like today.
I've got to be studying Oncology now, non-hodgkin's lymphoma. Lets nourish ourselves with some hyperplasia action shall we?
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Benching
Good day, or so i'd like to think.We had our photo shoot for the graduation album today, the entire dean's office was buzzing with a certain sin familiarly known as VANITY.
Most of em dressed in their best, and then a minority that doesn't dress for anything...
We were the minority...
'Weih, kumpulan kita pakai macam gangster!'
That was Hari, when he noticed we were the only ones who didn't dress up.
Well, introductions, from left: Ashish, Aaron, Hari, Ritz, Keong,Tina,Dipta,Syu and ME!
Piggy, unfortunately was behind the camera...sorry Azie.
Long day, Class-Photo Shoot-Meeting-More Shooting-Cancelled appointments-DinDin w Syu-Failed attempt at watching da vinci's code- Beer+Benching with Ritz and finally here.
Photo Shoot was fun, lotsa poyo-ness, and meeting kinda confrontational- almost had a major fight with a committee member-Pharma Rep, he basically accused me of god knows what and i lost it...in a very dumb way...Syu and Azie had to salvage the bloody situation.
After which they told me 'You lost it and handled it like an idiot!'
Well on a lighter note, after din din, i met up with the rest and we hauled ourselves to the cinema, with the confidence that no one watches movies on tuesday nights (@2230hrs), Just to be told that tickets are SOLD-FUCKING-OUT! Disappointed, we came home.
Benching was fun (as usual), we decided that since in our respective countries there's no one word to describe the usage of 'Zdrastvuite', we'd have to create our own.
We also realised that all the chicks are with pot/beer bellied older men, men with fat wallets...yes Psychs go ahead and lash out at me.Bring it on.
Was suppose to get a hair cut, me thinks anxiousness has driven me to this, was initially thinking of a Mohawk, but realised 2 weeks is not enough to rectify a problem of that magnitude. (2 weeks till my parents arrive)
So settled on short hair with lotsa locks.
And Ritzy realized we don't have many Uncle johnnie weekends left, and as true benchers we should make the best of the time we have.
Benching's another buffer of mine...and its exclusive...its a special bond Ritz and I have, occasional guests are allowed, but its not open for new memberships. Its a sacred chilling out ritual.
Azie on the other hand, reminded us that by the end of this month we are officially not medical students and neither are we doctors. We are in LIMBO...
That reminds me, din din was damn yums- Veal in Marsala Sauce- Fucking awesome.
Gonna get some shut eye now.
Till the next time wasting blog.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Color blind
We are what we repeatedly do. -Aristotle
That would in turn imply that i'm a procastinator who takes things for granted, intentionally oblivious to my surroundings and supremely selfish.
today's 'distorted-chain-of-thoughts' day.
"Why don't you show me the little bit of spine.You've been saving for his mattress.
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me."
There you go, another perplexing thought. No well, i'm not all that shallow, its from a song.
Here's the thing, in my opinion sympathy/pity are the worst kind of emotion/s one can have for another.
Naturally, if its rephrased into 'mercy sex' then its acceptable. (more shallow thoughts)
Hang on, let me level with myself here.
Ok...I'm back at square one.
I started out with something logical like aristotle and ended up with fall out boy, wait that is logical.
I just realised something odd, my friends have soo much faith in me that, the moment someone's talking to me and taking my number down (or me theirs), they are of the impression that i flirted my way there. And almost always i get told on. *sigh*
But, i've got excellent back up- Bee Kins! he sits there and smiles like its no biggie. And when asked to back me up, he pretends he's lost!
Have been giving a few things some serious thought. (rare?)
I'm a month away from my convocation, 2 from going back home,3 from attending my interview,4 from kicking-off working life, 5 from starting a savings account, 6 from starting birthday and new year plans!!
I've got my priorities sorted haven't i? *patting myself on the shoulders*
Read all of the above...
See what i mean by 'i'm a procastinator'?
There are a few things in life you should hold on to, no matter how tough the going gets.They would be different things for different people, and the meaning it carries is different as well.
Depending on what we need to keep ourselves going, we'd make our choices.
For most of us, achieving something would almost always include sacrifices.
Some of us allow ourselves to be misled; driven by selfishness, we'd make the wrong sacrifices.
Its all very humane, no arguments there, but the question is, how FAR will you go?
The only sacrifice i've had to make to achieve something is waking up earlier so that i'd get to run before class. (not very impressive eh?)
Wait, there was this one time, i HAD to sacrifice watching a movie to catch up on study time. (ma's orders!)
Of late, i've noticed(probably because i'm ignorant), we'd go all out to get what we want.-disregarding the potential damage.
Maybe its because, people don't change but they just become more of who they are.
Over time, you'd learn things/traits of the other...and you'd reach a point and ask yourself, "do i know this person anymore?"
Then again we'd have to take into account that while this other was evolving, we morphed as well. We too became more of who we are...and chances are this other is asking the same questions.
Conclusion: Having blogger's block. A friend of mine once told me "do not believe everything you read"
Disclaimer: Do not believe everything you read.
That would in turn imply that i'm a procastinator who takes things for granted, intentionally oblivious to my surroundings and supremely selfish.
today's 'distorted-chain-of-thoughts' day.
"Why don't you show me the little bit of spine.You've been saving for his mattress.
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me."
There you go, another perplexing thought. No well, i'm not all that shallow, its from a song.
Here's the thing, in my opinion sympathy/pity are the worst kind of emotion/s one can have for another.
Naturally, if its rephrased into 'mercy sex' then its acceptable. (more shallow thoughts)
Hang on, let me level with myself here.
Ok...I'm back at square one.
I started out with something logical like aristotle and ended up with fall out boy, wait that is logical.
I just realised something odd, my friends have soo much faith in me that, the moment someone's talking to me and taking my number down (or me theirs), they are of the impression that i flirted my way there. And almost always i get told on. *sigh*
But, i've got excellent back up- Bee Kins! he sits there and smiles like its no biggie. And when asked to back me up, he pretends he's lost!
Have been giving a few things some serious thought. (rare?)
I'm a month away from my convocation, 2 from going back home,3 from attending my interview,4 from kicking-off working life, 5 from starting a savings account, 6 from starting birthday and new year plans!!
I've got my priorities sorted haven't i? *patting myself on the shoulders*
Read all of the above...
See what i mean by 'i'm a procastinator'?
There are a few things in life you should hold on to, no matter how tough the going gets.They would be different things for different people, and the meaning it carries is different as well.
Depending on what we need to keep ourselves going, we'd make our choices.
For most of us, achieving something would almost always include sacrifices.
Some of us allow ourselves to be misled; driven by selfishness, we'd make the wrong sacrifices.
Its all very humane, no arguments there, but the question is, how FAR will you go?
The only sacrifice i've had to make to achieve something is waking up earlier so that i'd get to run before class. (not very impressive eh?)
Wait, there was this one time, i HAD to sacrifice watching a movie to catch up on study time. (ma's orders!)
Of late, i've noticed(probably because i'm ignorant), we'd go all out to get what we want.-disregarding the potential damage.
Maybe its because, people don't change but they just become more of who they are.
Over time, you'd learn things/traits of the other...and you'd reach a point and ask yourself, "do i know this person anymore?"
Then again we'd have to take into account that while this other was evolving, we morphed as well. We too became more of who we are...and chances are this other is asking the same questions.
Conclusion: Having blogger's block. A friend of mine once told me "do not believe everything you read"
Disclaimer: Do not believe everything you read.
Battle without Honour
Alone time...something unheard of.
Its true what they say, there should be honour among thiefs.I read a book of the same title while i was still in school.About stealing the constitution or something. Good read.
Alls fair in love and in war...
Being a power player is fun, it also comes with excess baggage in the form of guilt and a sense of responsibility. Thats if you have a conscience.
There are those who play by the rules and win, and there are those who choose to not play by the rules and win...then there are those who win by technicality and manipulation. There are those who win because they have a fantastic combination of all of the above.
Reena has a simple concept regarding honour among thiefs, 'Thief A can steal from Peter to feed Paul, but thief A cannot steal from thief B to feed anyone, this fucks up the cycle.'
But i believe in stealing from the rich and giving the needy...muahahaha..kidding,really.
When you execute an action of severe implications, the repercussions shouldn't come as surprises, i.e: calculated risks.
The only reason you wouldn't crumble is because you had enough faith.
Newton wasn't high on pot when he said every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
The AGM was for a total of 45mins and the Q&A was for an hour...*waste of time*
We didn't have our friendly match against M2- cause and effect-Q&A took up all the play time.
Shitted.
I was surrounded by idiots, not funny.
"How come we (M2) weren't informed about the charity dinner?"
"We did make announcements, via 3 newspapers and over national radio"
"Newspapers?...why weren't we told about it?"
"errmm...you don't read newspapers during summer holls?"
WTF?...seriously, i don't know how these people are doing medicine...Sad.
Gets better...next idiot takes the effort to ask:
"please make us understand, was this announcement made before or after the dinner?"
...seriously, WTF?...just laughed my head off.
Naturally, M1 had no questions to ask...they are real newts, tell them to come cast their votes and attend the AGM, the only question they had was.
"are they serving refreshments?"
Good combination, one side that doesn't give a fuck and the other side that wants to give a fuck but doesn't know how to.
There was no bloodshed unfortunately. I'm secretly disappointed.
Thats fine, sooner or later something's going to come up and some form of assult will take place.
When will the battle without honour end?...ah yes, only good things come to an end. (my bad)
Its true what they say, there should be honour among thiefs.I read a book of the same title while i was still in school.About stealing the constitution or something. Good read.
Alls fair in love and in war...
Being a power player is fun, it also comes with excess baggage in the form of guilt and a sense of responsibility. Thats if you have a conscience.
There are those who play by the rules and win, and there are those who choose to not play by the rules and win...then there are those who win by technicality and manipulation. There are those who win because they have a fantastic combination of all of the above.
Reena has a simple concept regarding honour among thiefs, 'Thief A can steal from Peter to feed Paul, but thief A cannot steal from thief B to feed anyone, this fucks up the cycle.'
But i believe in stealing from the rich and giving the needy...muahahaha..kidding,really.
When you execute an action of severe implications, the repercussions shouldn't come as surprises, i.e: calculated risks.
The only reason you wouldn't crumble is because you had enough faith.
Newton wasn't high on pot when he said every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
The AGM was for a total of 45mins and the Q&A was for an hour...*waste of time*
We didn't have our friendly match against M2- cause and effect-Q&A took up all the play time.
Shitted.
I was surrounded by idiots, not funny.
"How come we (M2) weren't informed about the charity dinner?"
"We did make announcements, via 3 newspapers and over national radio"
"Newspapers?...why weren't we told about it?"
"errmm...you don't read newspapers during summer holls?"
WTF?...seriously, i don't know how these people are doing medicine...Sad.
Gets better...next idiot takes the effort to ask:
"please make us understand, was this announcement made before or after the dinner?"
...seriously, WTF?...just laughed my head off.
Naturally, M1 had no questions to ask...they are real newts, tell them to come cast their votes and attend the AGM, the only question they had was.
"are they serving refreshments?"
Good combination, one side that doesn't give a fuck and the other side that wants to give a fuck but doesn't know how to.
There was no bloodshed unfortunately. I'm secretly disappointed.
Thats fine, sooner or later something's going to come up and some form of assult will take place.
When will the battle without honour end?...ah yes, only good things come to an end. (my bad)
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Quicksand
Another week has passed ; did no justice to my saturday i.e: didn't watch Da Vinci's code...
Did nothing 'productive/constructive'. Its decided then, thats my forte.
However i did what i had to do. Reena's calling both bee kins and i, dirty twisted strategists.
Few things that did justice to my mind :
Cerebral orgasms with the usual suspects...Still figuring out how to diffuse bombs and such.
Thursday-Coffee Mania with Azie and Syu.
Friday-Cafe' Latte' with Bee Kins and Reena.
Saturday- Mi casa with me myself and i, psychs came in towards the end.
Been thinking about mice and men.
Finally, studying quicksands.
Quicksand...
The more you wriggle, the faster you get pulled in.
Don't fight it, stay still...till someone gets you, if no one does; just wriggle and reduce torture time-chances are they'll never find you. Or you can keep still, and suffer stiff muscles and then hunger followed by cold and then pain...and finally rot to death.
OK i didn't have to be all that graphic now did i?
Was just thinking about how we get roped into things we don't intend to do, and the more we fight it, we get sucked into it further and before we know it, we've got one foot in the septic tank and the other in a puddle of mud...or up someone's ass (depending on how we handle situations)
Sunday's going to be exciting, i forsee bloodshed and mass collection of unbelievable stupidity.
-MMSA Elections
Its also going to be fulfilling.-Friendly Futsal matches...
When prav called to inform me of the elections, all i said was 'hmm', hoping to change my mind he said its also the AGM, i again said 'hmm', he finally said 'we're also having futsal...' to which i said 'i'll be there!' (no one's surprise right?)
Did nothing 'productive/constructive'. Its decided then, thats my forte.
However i did what i had to do. Reena's calling both bee kins and i, dirty twisted strategists.
Few things that did justice to my mind :
Cerebral orgasms with the usual suspects...Still figuring out how to diffuse bombs and such.
Thursday-Coffee Mania with Azie and Syu.
Friday-Cafe' Latte' with Bee Kins and Reena.
Saturday- Mi casa with me myself and i, psychs came in towards the end.
Been thinking about mice and men.
Finally, studying quicksands.
Quicksand...
The more you wriggle, the faster you get pulled in.
Don't fight it, stay still...till someone gets you, if no one does; just wriggle and reduce torture time-chances are they'll never find you. Or you can keep still, and suffer stiff muscles and then hunger followed by cold and then pain...and finally rot to death.
OK i didn't have to be all that graphic now did i?
Was just thinking about how we get roped into things we don't intend to do, and the more we fight it, we get sucked into it further and before we know it, we've got one foot in the septic tank and the other in a puddle of mud...or up someone's ass (depending on how we handle situations)
Sunday's going to be exciting, i forsee bloodshed and mass collection of unbelievable stupidity.
-MMSA Elections
Its also going to be fulfilling.-Friendly Futsal matches...
When prav called to inform me of the elections, all i said was 'hmm', hoping to change my mind he said its also the AGM, i again said 'hmm', he finally said 'we're also having futsal...' to which i said 'i'll be there!' (no one's surprise right?)
Anyways let me leave you with the song of the week: For old time's sake.
"Mr Brightside"
I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go
And I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside
I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go
And I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside
Reens baby, bee kins and i are Mr.Brightsides aren't we?
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Coffee Mania
Thats 'erdinger dunkel', super yumss black beer.Yes thats true, i've quit drinking professionally.
These days i just fleece off some people who claim it tastes like 'sarsi'...
No actually, i felt like lattes...didn't feel like alco-ing myself.
This is @2200hrs, there's still a lil bit of light...
The verandah@coffee mania-look for 3 irritating 'tourists' at the extreme right...
Trust me, don't waste your time squinting, you can't see us...
Notice how everyone's got a blankie?...yes it was windy...
Looks ARE deceiving, we look like normal students having a very innocent 'housemates night out'...
A combination of these 3 people- synonymous with TROUBLE...
Ask the waiter...
As the night started...the utter joy of creating mischeif is displayed on both their faces...
I seriously am wondering what were they thinking about...
I seem to be very fascinated by what Syu had to say, and i have no idea when this pic was taken...
By the end of the evening this is how Azie and i looked...(even after certain exciting calls)
Satisfied with our respective 'highs'
Hers-cheese cake
Mine- Latte'
...And Syu, like this.As they say a picture speaks a thousand words.
Its obvious, we had a pretty good time.
Right sayang? *evil grin*
Things i'm going to miss: Depicted in the above pics.
The verandahs during spring, summer and autumn...
Having a beer while the sun sets in the background...
Just chilling out...
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Apology accepted.
Thought about it real hard and long.
When was the last time we apologized to ourselves?
Wait a sec, i don't know many people who've even forgiven themselves for past mistakes.
Think about it, to move forward you'd have to leave the past behind which means you'd not only have to own up to your mistakes but also forgive yourself for it.
Stepping stones; Learning curves.
I owe myself an apology, for compromising and bending my own principles. I was a major hypocrite to myself, no this time it wasn't self preservation...it was plain selfish.
Its true i do have high (read: unrealistic/idealistic) expectations (btw, thats according to reens so pls refer to her for further enlightenment), but if i didn't have them i wouldn't be who i am today.
This was Syu to me:
"You surprise me, its not your kind of thing. You'd be the last person i could think of getting involved in such a thing,"
"Yes i'm aware of that, not very proud of it either and i'm sorry for letting you down."
"You don't owe anyone but yourself an apology."
The reason for that conversation is irrelevant at the moment.
According to her, i'm a combination of a punching bag and a frying pan. *blur*
Great! now being cryptic is in fashion.
Anyways found out what it means:
Like a punching bag, i receive blows from all directions and yet at the end i'm standing up right and no one knows the damage thats on the inside. Frying pan; i take time to blow my top i.e: my anger is not without reason but at the same time i cool off pretty fast.
I haven't spoken to my significant other since god knows when...i believe she called while i was out...yes baby, i miss you too...
Ok now comes dealing with the hard part-Forgive myself (i think i've achieved that already), and figure out who's been flooding my inbox with anonymous comments.
When was the last time we apologized to ourselves?
Wait a sec, i don't know many people who've even forgiven themselves for past mistakes.
Think about it, to move forward you'd have to leave the past behind which means you'd not only have to own up to your mistakes but also forgive yourself for it.
Stepping stones; Learning curves.
I owe myself an apology, for compromising and bending my own principles. I was a major hypocrite to myself, no this time it wasn't self preservation...it was plain selfish.
Its true i do have high (read: unrealistic/idealistic) expectations (btw, thats according to reens so pls refer to her for further enlightenment), but if i didn't have them i wouldn't be who i am today.
This was Syu to me:
"You surprise me, its not your kind of thing. You'd be the last person i could think of getting involved in such a thing,"
"Yes i'm aware of that, not very proud of it either and i'm sorry for letting you down."
"You don't owe anyone but yourself an apology."
The reason for that conversation is irrelevant at the moment.
According to her, i'm a combination of a punching bag and a frying pan. *blur*
Great! now being cryptic is in fashion.
Anyways found out what it means:
Like a punching bag, i receive blows from all directions and yet at the end i'm standing up right and no one knows the damage thats on the inside. Frying pan; i take time to blow my top i.e: my anger is not without reason but at the same time i cool off pretty fast.
I haven't spoken to my significant other since god knows when...i believe she called while i was out...yes baby, i miss you too...
Ok now comes dealing with the hard part-Forgive myself (i think i've achieved that already), and figure out who's been flooding my inbox with anonymous comments.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Bastardizing...
Bastardization : An act of debasing the quality of something. In layman's terms it would mean to ruin the actual meaning/ function of something.
We all bastardize things/emotions/people on a regular basis. Its second nature to us. Thats just because we claim to be human. Its sad though, we blame everything on our race- The Human Race.
The act to turning a student body into a political party is called bastardization. Its sounds like hard work, its not. All you need are humans with inferior development and you've got a perfect political cocktail- Best consumed shaken not stirred.-At least you'd get the taste of the best bits.
Last night was quite awesome, the event manager called Abed to rectify the price debate and, guess what??...we have to pay them $3000...
He calls me back to tell me : *slight chuckling* "so i see you've spoken to Nikolai, and he says we have to pay. I don't know what you are up to, but i want my cut-OK?"
I obviously was in high spirits, just laughed my guts off and said "yes"...*sigh*
If only he knew that we REALLY have to pay...Seriously, do i send out wrong signals?
I've been approached by 2 Jehovah's witnesses wanting to rescue me...and i've got a colleague who thinks i'm trying to swindle the committee...
DAMN...i'm too obvious aren't i?
Or is it the bastardization of my very being?
We all bastardize things/emotions/people on a regular basis. Its second nature to us. Thats just because we claim to be human. Its sad though, we blame everything on our race- The Human Race.
The act to turning a student body into a political party is called bastardization. Its sounds like hard work, its not. All you need are humans with inferior development and you've got a perfect political cocktail- Best consumed shaken not stirred.-At least you'd get the taste of the best bits.
Last night was quite awesome, the event manager called Abed to rectify the price debate and, guess what??...we have to pay them $3000...
He calls me back to tell me : *slight chuckling* "so i see you've spoken to Nikolai, and he says we have to pay. I don't know what you are up to, but i want my cut-OK?"
I obviously was in high spirits, just laughed my guts off and said "yes"...*sigh*
If only he knew that we REALLY have to pay...Seriously, do i send out wrong signals?
I've been approached by 2 Jehovah's witnesses wanting to rescue me...and i've got a colleague who thinks i'm trying to swindle the committee...
DAMN...i'm too obvious aren't i?
Or is it the bastardization of my very being?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Taurus Excreta!!!
"AAAAAAAAAAaaaarrrrrrrrrrrGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"
Thats the consequence of not being a very violent or verbal person, Pent-up anger for which the catalyst was stupidity.
Thought a few quiet moments with my favourite symphony would do the trick but no, it didn't.
I secretly wish i was a sniper, i bet after all those times playing CS i should be some good right?
Hit List:
1) Renad Nikolaivich, Alyautdin.
2) Serger Alexevich, Baranov
3) Gaurav Patil.
Patil has the balls to call me at 0030hrs on saturday to tell me he is entertaining the committee
members at his restaurant-just to secure the contract. Asked him what was the need to inform me.
He :well you gave me the opening, and its just right to inform you.
Me: mmm...and?
He: Please just support me on this matter, i am getting the support of the arabs and am going to send Baranov some samples.
Me: Why?
He: To show him i can provide good service at cheaper price.
Me: I see...
He: So if the entire committee agrees and so does Baranov, will you still give the contract to the other caterers? Will you change your decision?
Me: Well, if the entire committee wants you, there's nothing i can do. I will have to change my decision. In that way, the entire lot can be responsible for anything that goes wrong. For the record, you did all this behind my back even after explaining to you, so i don't see any reason as to why we are even having this conversation.
He: i need your support, and you know me personally.What is the problem?Price?
Me: You have enough support...don't worry. If you feel the need to represent your restaurant, by all means go ahead.No its not the money.
And that happened even today...same conversation...i just grunted more. He kept trying to make peace. Looks like i'll have to get a restraining order against him.
That whole episode is just fucking subordinate, bloody hell!
Seriously what the fuck?...
And then you've got the bloody SOBs who don't do shit, but are of the opinion they are contributing a hell lot. Alyautdin should just shut his gap when its not his money.Motherfucker.
Just as how its stated in Murphy's Law- Just when you think things can't get any worse, it gets even worse!
After work Abed calls to inform me that the agency called to tell him there's no need to pay them the $3000.
I then told him we have to, just that the person who has been talking to him doesn't know the situation. He then throws something unexpected:
"Tell me honestly, do you want the money for yourself?"
"what?"
"you've been pushing for the payment, is that money going into your pocket?"
"yes it is...you know what?i'll call you after talking to the sponsor"
"please do that, i just need to know ok...clearly do we have to pay or not?"
Now i'm fucking blur, what day is it btw, Fuck-Me day?
Shitted...more like ostopizdelo-sranaya-manda!!!
I apologize for having to blog all of that shit, but i blog to vent my anger. I heard kick-boxing helps, should try it sometime.
Anyways, i was quite absent-minded on sunday, i forgot it was mother's day, actually called home, spoke to mum for about 10mins, and then hari walks in and shouts "Happy Mother's Day aunty!!!"...fuck!..and i didn't even wish my mum.
So i pulled a fast one about getting side-trackked by such a gorgeous person i.e:her, on the phone and lots of other crap like that.
Apologized for not doing anything special this year but got a diff reaction:
"Noooooooo...your brothers were wonderful, they made me breakfast in bed and bought me roses, moreover you dad's not in town so it was quality time with the boys.I even got a card with your name in it."
*shitted-now i owe my brothers one major favour*
What would i do without you guys?
As usual my support systems already in 6th gear when its only a 5-speed gear box.
This week's going to be one major stress generator.
I seriously am wondering when did people stop respecting other people?...How do you justify doing things behind my back and then expecting me to respect you for your effort?- Humor me!
At the rate things are going, i'm going to end up being one major pain to all those around me.
Cut me some slack guys...
Highlight of the day: Saw an angel in red standing across the street.
MASSAD 06'
MASSAD stands for Malaysian Students Annual Dinner.Brainchild of 2nd Year Medical Students in M2. It came with its ups and downs, but i'd say it had more ups than downs.
Am going to miss all this studenty crap once i'm home. Guess growing up comes with a price eh?
Dipta's famous self-portraits with me in it...
Truth is, i love spoiling the pics, and she secretly loves having me do that..
Ms.'me,myself and i' aka Syu...hair boy, i mean hari boy ...as usual the frames all about the one infront of me. A couple of days back i had to explain to her that slavery was abolished a very long time ago, hence she should grant me my freedom...at the rate things are going even after graduation i'd be doing chores...for both my bosses (azie and syu).
Kursk 06'
Immortalization of our moment of glory...
Go V!!! hehehehe...am soo full of myself.
See what adrenaline and endorphines do to you?
Our 'Presidential Suite', Kursk Style.
Hahahaha...Yes now i'm being plain bitchy.
Btw, our room was the best in the Hotel.
It really was a SUITE.
The entire team excluding 'piggy'...This was right after we arrived at the hotel lobby.
Soo many people yet there's no one to play with on Saturdays...how's that possible?
Cheerleaders...gotta love em, (ok bad thoughts)
No seriously, they were good...
I enjoyed watching them...perform.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Vote for ME!
Was up at 0630hrs, needed to run and think.
Run i did, think i did not. The day was beautiful, was just concentrating on the moment. As they say, 'to be truly happy, you'd have to live in the present'. Running's therapeutic even if you don't use the time for thinking.
I really can't put a finger on what's bothering me...there's always tomorrow to attempt thinking while running. Maybe it has something to do with me not being able to multitask.
I know that bothers a couple of people around me, especially Syu but thats because she chooses to talk to me while i'm playing with the PDA or watching TV or you know...important stuff.
If i'd be able to multitask then i'd be able to run while thinking and vice-versa.
Feeling all fired up, Syu and I headed out for 'otrabotka', got there and we were greeted by a tightly sealed dept entrance. Good sign, no class then. Decided the day's too precious so slotted in stuff to do.
Its unwinding day-we gathered at Coffee Mania. Reena and Syu kept calling me perv, for what reason i don't know...ok i choose not to know.Wingman did not defend me.Perfect-3 against 1.
What were today's cerebral orgasms about?
Besides giving me a tough time...nothing really.
No wait, we did talk about our on going election/nomination thing before the AGM.
My acute observation tells me that medical students in Moscow have got their heads in the right place.
Everyone wants to be Dr.M!
Ok those who are lost- MMSA (Moscow Malaysian Student's Association) is holding their elections now. Every avaricious MOFO is busy putting him/herself out now to be nominated.
They are actually campaigning! No Shit!
So, me being me- as in the snarky person that i am, decided i should at least leave behind a memorable nomination.
Syu and I decided that we'll nominate each other for all posts.(childish but fun)
On the brightside, Malaysia's future doctors will also be literate in Political Science.Fantastic.
After parking ass, we walked to our favourite book store, and again i find my hobby too expensive to maintain...didn't buy anything, just looked around. But if anyone's interested in buying me a pre-graduation gift (no reens baby you not included), then there's this book by Milan Kundera-Ignorance...trust me, it makes a perfect gift.
Dmitry gave me 2 options during coffee :
a) Watch Scary Movie 4 with him at 1900hrs.
b)Watch Scary Movie 4 with him at 1900hrs.
And yes, most people know how i feel about scary movies-they tease my brains.
Somehow, today sitting in the cinema, it felt like the most logical thing to do- Get lost in a movie which only induces laughter albeit dumb.
Lesson of the day: regardless of how tempting it is, don't sit next to reena while watching a movie-she hits you even before the scene starts...you'd leave the cinema bruised.
Tomorrow's going to be a long day, working @ 1200hrs and am planning to run while thinking, or think while running so i'd have to be up by 0630hrs. Around 1800hrs is the 'Malaysian Night' thingy organized by M2, promised Gerard i'd be there...so yea...cheers to a long day ahead.
Run i did, think i did not. The day was beautiful, was just concentrating on the moment. As they say, 'to be truly happy, you'd have to live in the present'. Running's therapeutic even if you don't use the time for thinking.
I really can't put a finger on what's bothering me...there's always tomorrow to attempt thinking while running. Maybe it has something to do with me not being able to multitask.
I know that bothers a couple of people around me, especially Syu but thats because she chooses to talk to me while i'm playing with the PDA or watching TV or you know...important stuff.
If i'd be able to multitask then i'd be able to run while thinking and vice-versa.
Feeling all fired up, Syu and I headed out for 'otrabotka', got there and we were greeted by a tightly sealed dept entrance. Good sign, no class then. Decided the day's too precious so slotted in stuff to do.
Its unwinding day-we gathered at Coffee Mania. Reena and Syu kept calling me perv, for what reason i don't know...ok i choose not to know.Wingman did not defend me.Perfect-3 against 1.
What were today's cerebral orgasms about?
Besides giving me a tough time...nothing really.
No wait, we did talk about our on going election/nomination thing before the AGM.
My acute observation tells me that medical students in Moscow have got their heads in the right place.
Everyone wants to be Dr.M!
Ok those who are lost- MMSA (Moscow Malaysian Student's Association) is holding their elections now. Every avaricious MOFO is busy putting him/herself out now to be nominated.
They are actually campaigning! No Shit!
So, me being me- as in the snarky person that i am, decided i should at least leave behind a memorable nomination.
Syu and I decided that we'll nominate each other for all posts.(childish but fun)
On the brightside, Malaysia's future doctors will also be literate in Political Science.Fantastic.
After parking ass, we walked to our favourite book store, and again i find my hobby too expensive to maintain...didn't buy anything, just looked around. But if anyone's interested in buying me a pre-graduation gift (no reens baby you not included), then there's this book by Milan Kundera-Ignorance...trust me, it makes a perfect gift.
Dmitry gave me 2 options during coffee :
a) Watch Scary Movie 4 with him at 1900hrs.
b)Watch Scary Movie 4 with him at 1900hrs.
And yes, most people know how i feel about scary movies-they tease my brains.
Somehow, today sitting in the cinema, it felt like the most logical thing to do- Get lost in a movie which only induces laughter albeit dumb.
Lesson of the day: regardless of how tempting it is, don't sit next to reena while watching a movie-she hits you even before the scene starts...you'd leave the cinema bruised.
Tomorrow's going to be a long day, working @ 1200hrs and am planning to run while thinking, or think while running so i'd have to be up by 0630hrs. Around 1800hrs is the 'Malaysian Night' thingy organized by M2, promised Gerard i'd be there...so yea...cheers to a long day ahead.
F1
Its that time of the year when speed enthusiasts get a good helping of their favourite race : F1!
I don't watch any sort of sport on tv- find it pointless and somewhat mind numbing. Be it football, basketball, tennis and the worst of them all- Golf. I just can't. Its like how they say those who can't do, teach?, here's a perfect example of those who can't play, watch. (ok no pun intended-especially to both my brothers and i believe azie as well who watch footie like maniacs)
But...F1's something else all together (yes i'm a walking contradiction!). I used to watch it religiously. Sometime between then and now i grew up, but i still keep myself updated with the going-ons.
Its more than just super fast cars and big labels. Its my kind of sport- Involves a lot of strategy and honour.
If we were to look beyond all that glamour, we'd actually see a mini intelligence agency on a roll.
For them winning's not everything, its the only thing.
Strategy: How much fuel do we pump in now?-should it be a full tank or half?-kind of tires?-How many pit stops?-How long should each pit stop be?
Honour: Eg: Barichello and Schumacher, if Barichello's leading and Schumacher is right behind him, he'd let Schumacher through-because he knows that Schumacher's a better driver or that he'd be able to keep the other drivers behind. All these things are based on the communication both the drivers have. They both might have different pay checks but to them its about honouring themselves, each other and their company.
Not too long ago, when i was pretty pissed off about something-which now has no meaning, Bee Kins explained to me that what i was seeking for is called the F1 concept. And all of the above ladies and gentlemen, is the F1 concept.
If the F1 concept was understood by the mass public, the world would be a better place.(i wish!)
In that sense i guess i'm pretty lucky- Bee Kins and I share the same concept thus making us each others' wing man/woman.
Anyways, its saturday and that means its unwinding time. Will share more thoughts after absorbing everyone elses. *wink*
I don't watch any sort of sport on tv- find it pointless and somewhat mind numbing. Be it football, basketball, tennis and the worst of them all- Golf. I just can't. Its like how they say those who can't do, teach?, here's a perfect example of those who can't play, watch. (ok no pun intended-especially to both my brothers and i believe azie as well who watch footie like maniacs)
But...F1's something else all together (yes i'm a walking contradiction!). I used to watch it religiously. Sometime between then and now i grew up, but i still keep myself updated with the going-ons.
Its more than just super fast cars and big labels. Its my kind of sport- Involves a lot of strategy and honour.
If we were to look beyond all that glamour, we'd actually see a mini intelligence agency on a roll.
For them winning's not everything, its the only thing.
Strategy: How much fuel do we pump in now?-should it be a full tank or half?-kind of tires?-How many pit stops?-How long should each pit stop be?
Honour: Eg: Barichello and Schumacher, if Barichello's leading and Schumacher is right behind him, he'd let Schumacher through-because he knows that Schumacher's a better driver or that he'd be able to keep the other drivers behind. All these things are based on the communication both the drivers have. They both might have different pay checks but to them its about honouring themselves, each other and their company.
Not too long ago, when i was pretty pissed off about something-which now has no meaning, Bee Kins explained to me that what i was seeking for is called the F1 concept. And all of the above ladies and gentlemen, is the F1 concept.
If the F1 concept was understood by the mass public, the world would be a better place.(i wish!)
In that sense i guess i'm pretty lucky- Bee Kins and I share the same concept thus making us each others' wing man/woman.
Anyways, its saturday and that means its unwinding time. Will share more thoughts after absorbing everyone elses. *wink*
The Way We Get By
This is the song of the day; my theme song for today and perhaps for the rest of the week.
Enjoy...
We get high in backseats of cars
We break into mobile homes
We go to sleep to shake up you
And then wake up on our own
And that's the way we get by
We go out in stormy weather
We rarely practice discern
We make love to some with sin
We seek out the taciturn
And that's the way we get by
We found a new kinda dance in a magazine
Try it on, it's like nothin' you've ever seen
You sweet talk like a cop, an' you know it
You bought a new bag of pot
So let's make a new start
And that's the way to my heart to
The Way to my heart
We get high in backseats of cars
We put faith in our concerns
Fall in love to down the streak
We believe in the sum of ourselves
That's the way we get by
Enjoy...
We get high in backseats of cars
We break into mobile homes
We go to sleep to shake up you
And then wake up on our own
And that's the way we get by
We go out in stormy weather
We rarely practice discern
We make love to some with sin
We seek out the taciturn
And that's the way we get by
We found a new kinda dance in a magazine
Try it on, it's like nothin' you've ever seen
You sweet talk like a cop, an' you know it
You bought a new bag of pot
So let's make a new start
And that's the way to my heart to
The Way to my heart
We get high in backseats of cars
We put faith in our concerns
Fall in love to down the streak
We believe in the sum of ourselves
That's the way we get by
Ostopizdelo
Newly acquired knowledge, soon to be commonly used phrase : Бля, ты мне уже остопиздела сраная манда!
I think it means "You've fucked me over and over and over"
Literally : "Damn, you've fucked me over-shitted-vagina"
The above statement is Copyright Protected, any reproduction of it could result in a lawsuit.
This could also describe everything happening in the last 13days without much details.
Today: Did nothing productive, walked around aimlessly and once again wondered which part of the couch haven't i farted on yet.
Cracked a damn funny joke today, although i think Praveen may not agree with me on that one.
He called and the conversation revolved around us being single and shit like that.
He : Eh Roshan introduce me to someone laa...
Me: Why don't you do that for me?I'm the one going through the dry spell!
He : Me too...i need a girlfriend.
Me: Why would you when you have your left hand?
(damn i'm funny)
He obviously wasn't amused.But i made it up to him, told him i'll share with him my prized bottle of whiskey. He was back to being Praveen.
My god, i just read whatever i've typed and realised i'm seriously indolent today. (like every other day-same shit different day scenario)
On a more serious note:
Syu just got home and she seems to be handling it pretty well. Am so proud of her.
Was worried though, but...looks like she pulled through.
That reminds me, ma told me about an uncle being seriously ill-last time i checked, he had right sided heart failure. Hope alls good there, *mental note: call home* (see how nonchalant i am)
Learnt an interesting fact today: Sochi's europes longest city-its built along the Black Sea shore. Me thinks 160km (length)-will confirm figures.
Today Azie received a call from the Dean's office, Baranov's called for a meeting just for the three of us on Monday. Stupid asshole. WHY???...
I mean, these dumb fucks don't get the whole 'sponsor' concept.They don't contribute financially or otherwise, and yet they have the cheek to push their weight around.
Our dean's a coward who can't say things to our face but uses Baranov for everything.
Fucktards!
Been thinking a lot about euphemisms...i project most of my anger over here...those who don't know me might be of the opinion that i need anger management, wait my brother thinks the same. Let me rephrase that, what kind of euphemism would someone use on me?
Lets just say someone famous checks out, the press might say something like "He/She was the pioneer of controversial movies" which could either mean:
a) Produced movies that were politically correct.
b) Produced Taboo movies- i.e: anything that questions the vatican/gay rights etc.
So...yea euphemisms, have you ever thought what yours would be?
I think it means "You've fucked me over and over and over"
Literally : "Damn, you've fucked me over-shitted-vagina"
The above statement is Copyright Protected, any reproduction of it could result in a lawsuit.
This could also describe everything happening in the last 13days without much details.
Today: Did nothing productive, walked around aimlessly and once again wondered which part of the couch haven't i farted on yet.
Cracked a damn funny joke today, although i think Praveen may not agree with me on that one.
He called and the conversation revolved around us being single and shit like that.
He : Eh Roshan introduce me to someone laa...
Me: Why don't you do that for me?I'm the one going through the dry spell!
He : Me too...i need a girlfriend.
Me: Why would you when you have your left hand?
(damn i'm funny)
He obviously wasn't amused.But i made it up to him, told him i'll share with him my prized bottle of whiskey. He was back to being Praveen.
My god, i just read whatever i've typed and realised i'm seriously indolent today. (like every other day-same shit different day scenario)
On a more serious note:
Syu just got home and she seems to be handling it pretty well. Am so proud of her.
Was worried though, but...looks like she pulled through.
That reminds me, ma told me about an uncle being seriously ill-last time i checked, he had right sided heart failure. Hope alls good there, *mental note: call home* (see how nonchalant i am)
Learnt an interesting fact today: Sochi's europes longest city-its built along the Black Sea shore. Me thinks 160km (length)-will confirm figures.
Today Azie received a call from the Dean's office, Baranov's called for a meeting just for the three of us on Monday. Stupid asshole. WHY???...
I mean, these dumb fucks don't get the whole 'sponsor' concept.They don't contribute financially or otherwise, and yet they have the cheek to push their weight around.
Our dean's a coward who can't say things to our face but uses Baranov for everything.
Fucktards!
Been thinking a lot about euphemisms...i project most of my anger over here...those who don't know me might be of the opinion that i need anger management, wait my brother thinks the same. Let me rephrase that, what kind of euphemism would someone use on me?
Lets just say someone famous checks out, the press might say something like "He/She was the pioneer of controversial movies" which could either mean:
a) Produced movies that were politically correct.
b) Produced Taboo movies- i.e: anything that questions the vatican/gay rights etc.
So...yea euphemisms, have you ever thought what yours would be?
Friday, May 12, 2006
Back me up Bitch!
Well, the picture that i claim is super sexy...
Seriously i'm soo full of myself, its not funny.
Sometimes i wonder if Johnny Bravo and i are related.
Today, was rather interesting/hectic/irritating.
All rolled into one.
More blond-like features:
Today at a cafe' after class, a bunch of us were discussing the interview we'd have to attend once we get home, and someone volunteered valuable information regarding the kind of questions we might be asked.
Dee : Depends on the specialists present on that day...if you had an obstetrician, the question might be- How long do you breast feed a baby?
Everyone else at the table : 2months?/don't know/huh?...thats a question?
Me: Till the baby is full?
Yes everyone found that funny, but i just re-confirmed my 'Johnny Bravo' theory.
Reena has this brilliant phrase- " Back me up bitch!"
A couple of hours ago, i received a very touching call...one of my bitches backed me up. (no not a pimp and not being rude either)
All she said was " I think you and Azie are doing a fantastic job, and stop being democratic. From your point of view, the rest deserve to know and be involved. But trust me, to them its all about wanting to have the last word. Remember the final decisions are in your hands and no one can overrule that. Well they actually made things worse for you, just do what you feel is right. Its very Asian to pick on minute details, so regardless of how much effort you put in, somebody's going to think he/she would've been able to do a better job"
Now that was a comforting call. Really sweet of her.
Had one of those days that warrant Malignant Hypertension, Topped up with some harassment.
-Got to class and spaced out-everything that was said to me turned into white noise.
Had to meet Dr.Saman right after class-And Mr.I-Know-Best volunteered to come along.
Did he help?...no, basically came along to prove a point 'if you could, i could too'. Juvenille. And, You've officially made it into my NATO list. Nevertheless Fuck You Very Much for the effort.
-Graduation Committee meeting right after that.
That wasn't too bad, it was the outcome of the meeting that ruined everything.
We decided to stick to the Professionals which would mean i'd have to tell Patil that he didn't get the contract.
He started calling me at 1600hrs and didn't stop until 2300hrs. Un-fucking-believable!
Explained very carefully as to why we decided against him and thanked him for his time.
He didn't give up. Kept calling and calling and calling...
It reached a point where i did something i wouldn't normally do.-Be Mean. Not proud of it, because being rude is only common amongst those without substance.
"Patil i have my doubts and Baranov has nothing to do with the decision, its mine. I'm afraid i can't afford mistakes.I'm sorry to say this, but you don't have enough experience, to put it bluntly- I can't afford fuck ups"
He didn't quit, He called Ritz and asked him to speak to me. WTF?
I guess its basically my fault. I allowed too many cooks to spoil the broth. Learnt something new today:
Should've Just stuck to Democratic Dictatorship.
All of these things seem to be nothing compared to whats really worrying me now-Syu.
Its my turn to 'back my bitch up'.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
May 10th
Grief is a funny thing really, it induces negative emotions like Anger and Hurt.
Or in my case i handle it like a blithering idiot. I freeze just when it matters. Its not as if i don't know what to say or do, its about how to say it. The normal quip "i'm sorry for your loss", is a tad bit tacky. For as long as could remember, i've stuck to "My deepest condolences".
Today, Syu lost someone dear- Her grandmum whom we fondly called 'Tok'. They were close. And i handled the situation like a blithering idiot. The worst part is, i knew Tok and now i'm kind of lost-do i call her family now or tomorrow?-should there be a comfortable period of mourning before i call?
Within a short period of 6months both my housemates have lost their grandmums and in both situations i wasn't much comfort. *Shit*
Nothing beats when it involves family, well sometime back i lost a granduncle and i treated the whole affair like it was just another tragedy and worse things could happen.
Ma wasn't too happy, i guess she thinks i'm an insensitive person when it comes to delicate and fragile family situations.
Truth: the way i view death is different, in my humble opinion its better than suffering in pain.
My granduncle's demise was due to cancer, all i told my mum was he is better off now.
I guess everything happens for a reason and as i happen to be in a field where emotions are better left at the entrance, the way i deal with it is different.
Well coming to good things of the day:
-10th of May marks the 4th anniversary of Ms.Reena Charlene Lopes and Mr. Jason Tan Hon Pin- Congrats guys,you've made it past the 3rd year mark.
-My brother's coming for my graduation!!!...yes i am excited & mum has booked my flight home for the 12th of july...shitted...wish i had more time in my hands.
Oww yes, a friend of mine submitted a pic of us in Kursk and for some dumb reason i think i look super sexy in it...muahahahaha...yes yes self praise is no praise at all!
Or in my case i handle it like a blithering idiot. I freeze just when it matters. Its not as if i don't know what to say or do, its about how to say it. The normal quip "i'm sorry for your loss", is a tad bit tacky. For as long as could remember, i've stuck to "My deepest condolences".
Today, Syu lost someone dear- Her grandmum whom we fondly called 'Tok'. They were close. And i handled the situation like a blithering idiot. The worst part is, i knew Tok and now i'm kind of lost-do i call her family now or tomorrow?-should there be a comfortable period of mourning before i call?
Within a short period of 6months both my housemates have lost their grandmums and in both situations i wasn't much comfort. *Shit*
Nothing beats when it involves family, well sometime back i lost a granduncle and i treated the whole affair like it was just another tragedy and worse things could happen.
Ma wasn't too happy, i guess she thinks i'm an insensitive person when it comes to delicate and fragile family situations.
Truth: the way i view death is different, in my humble opinion its better than suffering in pain.
My granduncle's demise was due to cancer, all i told my mum was he is better off now.
I guess everything happens for a reason and as i happen to be in a field where emotions are better left at the entrance, the way i deal with it is different.
Well coming to good things of the day:
-10th of May marks the 4th anniversary of Ms.Reena Charlene Lopes and Mr. Jason Tan Hon Pin- Congrats guys,you've made it past the 3rd year mark.
-My brother's coming for my graduation!!!...yes i am excited & mum has booked my flight home for the 12th of july...shitted...wish i had more time in my hands.
Oww yes, a friend of mine submitted a pic of us in Kursk and for some dumb reason i think i look super sexy in it...muahahahaha...yes yes self praise is no praise at all!
Chaos
In earlier posts, i had questions that needed answering, here's the good news-i've got a few answers...will tackle more soon.
In the last 12hours i learnt something new about myself. Its quite simple really, all it needs is a clean slate and a person who doesn't know you or more like is in the process of getting to know you.
I like that stage, its called discovery. Its when your past is left in its place and you are handed a new canvas, all you have to do is take the oil paint and be the artist of your life.
This new edition in my rather monotonous yet hectic life has brought along some fresh air and must add subtle chaos.
Without further delay, let me just let you guys in on my new found knowledge:
I'm ARROGANT, SECRETLY JUDGEMENTAL and BITCHY.
Oh yes lets not forget that i'm also a narcissist with a god complex.
Excellent, i feel very light headed and enlightened, just like how buddha felt when he was sitting under the...errmm...tree.
Oh well...i shall let these thoughts simmer for a bit, that reminds me, i'm working today.DAMN!
The butterfly in that small town that has been causing tornados in Moscow asked me if i enjoy working...Good question.
Honestly, i don't see the point in working when i'm going to be working for the rest of my life in about 3months. Its all about the money.
So far the only 'job' i enjoyed was DJ-ing both in Hard Rock and Pushkin. The hours are long and you are underpaid because you aren't a professional.
Anyways, i guess we've come a long way from there...i'm a boring tutor now...with an unhealthy obsession for futsal.
In the last 12hours i learnt something new about myself. Its quite simple really, all it needs is a clean slate and a person who doesn't know you or more like is in the process of getting to know you.
I like that stage, its called discovery. Its when your past is left in its place and you are handed a new canvas, all you have to do is take the oil paint and be the artist of your life.
This new edition in my rather monotonous yet hectic life has brought along some fresh air and must add subtle chaos.
Without further delay, let me just let you guys in on my new found knowledge:
I'm ARROGANT, SECRETLY JUDGEMENTAL and BITCHY.
Oh yes lets not forget that i'm also a narcissist with a god complex.
Excellent, i feel very light headed and enlightened, just like how buddha felt when he was sitting under the...errmm...tree.
Oh well...i shall let these thoughts simmer for a bit, that reminds me, i'm working today.DAMN!
The butterfly in that small town that has been causing tornados in Moscow asked me if i enjoy working...Good question.
Honestly, i don't see the point in working when i'm going to be working for the rest of my life in about 3months. Its all about the money.
So far the only 'job' i enjoyed was DJ-ing both in Hard Rock and Pushkin. The hours are long and you are underpaid because you aren't a professional.
Anyways, i guess we've come a long way from there...i'm a boring tutor now...with an unhealthy obsession for futsal.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Cock it and Pull it
Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
Sugar we're going down
Ethics: You've got utilitarian and deontologist...
One's quantitative and the latter qualitative.
Which one's better?
I'd say depending on which side of the equation i'm at i'll decide. Example, in a flight (a long haul one)
Mr. X is sleeping and conducting an orchestra while he's at it which in turn prevents the others from catching some shut eye.
An Utilitarian would wake him up and tell him to change his position so that he doesn't snore.
-in this way it benefits more people. (quantitative)
A deontologist would instead leave the guy alone and distribute cotton for us to clog our ears with.
-this only protects the rights of Mr.X while the rest suffer.(qualitative)
If i was asleep, please be a deontologist...and if you aren't letting me sleep, i'll be a utilitarian.
Well yes i'm a major hypocrite...welcome to my world.* hehehehe*
Tomorrow's officially back to school/work.
Yesterday was rough, in a good way i suppose.
For starters we started infusing ourselves with alcohol from 1900hrs, ok maybe i chickened out and stopped after one drink and switched over to espresso.
Watched MI 3!!
Ok don't expect a story line but do watch it for entertainment sake. Its fun in that way.
Got home at 0030, Ritz and i decided the night's still young and we should do good by Uncle Johnnie. So carted everything to the 'bench' and started 'kuppe-ing'...
Promised ourselves to leave half the bottle for next sat...but there's like slightly more than 1/3 left.
Ritz got a call around 0200-fm a friend who was at a club. We ended up in that same place half an hour later...
i'd be lying if i said i throughly enjoyed myself.
In Ritz' words "Roshan you are officially old man!!"
Thanks Sherlock.
Well, last night something scared me- bumped into a junior who was there with guys 5 yrs senior to her and these are desperate men we are talking about...
She was alone, as in none of her friends were there. And the guy she came with had passed out somewhere...
Fuck...she's just a kid...i mean, you are 19 and all but you are gullable.
All i saw when i was there was negligence and desperation. Almost everybody there was trying to get laid or steal someone's bf/gf...
Don't get me wrong, go ahead have your fun but...be selective. Its about being discriminating with your choices.
I guess its because i knew the kind of guys she was with. Great, and i have no right to say or do anything.
This is why natural selection occurs.
Cluster Fuck.
Now would you blame me for not digging the clubbing scene anymore?
Oh yes and the music was shit. I was craving Fall Out Boy or some System of a Down.
No doubt : I drink whiskey, sometimes prefer lattes to alco. Read books on spirituallity,religon and philosophy, Listen to vivaldi and the highlight of my day is the News.
On the brighter side of life, i'm currently experiencing the butterfly effect. One flap of a butterfly in some town and i feel the tornado in Moscow.
Damn. Have got so many questions that need answers.I need answers...
One's quantitative and the latter qualitative.
Which one's better?
I'd say depending on which side of the equation i'm at i'll decide. Example, in a flight (a long haul one)
Mr. X is sleeping and conducting an orchestra while he's at it which in turn prevents the others from catching some shut eye.
An Utilitarian would wake him up and tell him to change his position so that he doesn't snore.
-in this way it benefits more people. (quantitative)
A deontologist would instead leave the guy alone and distribute cotton for us to clog our ears with.
-this only protects the rights of Mr.X while the rest suffer.(qualitative)
If i was asleep, please be a deontologist...and if you aren't letting me sleep, i'll be a utilitarian.
Well yes i'm a major hypocrite...welcome to my world.* hehehehe*
Tomorrow's officially back to school/work.
Yesterday was rough, in a good way i suppose.
For starters we started infusing ourselves with alcohol from 1900hrs, ok maybe i chickened out and stopped after one drink and switched over to espresso.
Watched MI 3!!
Ok don't expect a story line but do watch it for entertainment sake. Its fun in that way.
Got home at 0030, Ritz and i decided the night's still young and we should do good by Uncle Johnnie. So carted everything to the 'bench' and started 'kuppe-ing'...
Promised ourselves to leave half the bottle for next sat...but there's like slightly more than 1/3 left.
Ritz got a call around 0200-fm a friend who was at a club. We ended up in that same place half an hour later...
i'd be lying if i said i throughly enjoyed myself.
In Ritz' words "Roshan you are officially old man!!"
Thanks Sherlock.
Well, last night something scared me- bumped into a junior who was there with guys 5 yrs senior to her and these are desperate men we are talking about...
She was alone, as in none of her friends were there. And the guy she came with had passed out somewhere...
Fuck...she's just a kid...i mean, you are 19 and all but you are gullable.
All i saw when i was there was negligence and desperation. Almost everybody there was trying to get laid or steal someone's bf/gf...
Don't get me wrong, go ahead have your fun but...be selective. Its about being discriminating with your choices.
I guess its because i knew the kind of guys she was with. Great, and i have no right to say or do anything.
This is why natural selection occurs.
Cluster Fuck.
Now would you blame me for not digging the clubbing scene anymore?
Oh yes and the music was shit. I was craving Fall Out Boy or some System of a Down.
No doubt : I drink whiskey, sometimes prefer lattes to alco. Read books on spirituallity,religon and philosophy, Listen to vivaldi and the highlight of my day is the News.
On the brighter side of life, i'm currently experiencing the butterfly effect. One flap of a butterfly in some town and i feel the tornado in Moscow.
Damn. Have got so many questions that need answers.I need answers...
Monday, May 08, 2006
One of those
I believe Privacy exsists only to be intruded.
We wouldn't know whats privacy if it were never invaded.
Its when you don't demand it, you get it...because you are an open book with nothing more left to discover. Now its eternal bliss-no one bothers you.
Reena said something brilliant "the only reason i'm still with you is because i still don't know you and i won't leave until i know you, its because you keep me interested"
Excellent, now people leave because they know you.
If only all relationships were this simple.
Well Bee Kins and I just helped CJ shift her stuff over, so this would mean CJ REENA and BEE KINS are officially housemates.
So after working out my biceps, forceps (no its not a muscle)and triceps i sat back with a smoke and reminiscenced over the times i moved and why i moved and with whom i moved..(now i sound like a nomad).
Sometimes best friends make the worst housemates...seriously.
Syu and I are living examples. We openly admit that our relationship was much better when we didn't live together.
*yes we sound like we are married, and yes reena keeps saying we are like one of those couples who've been married really long*
I guess,when it comes to living with someone you love unconditionally i.e: best friends, expectations are different-if not the same maybe higher. Then we tend to take each other for granted. Soon we'd be at each other's throats for the smallest things because its not acceptable for one of us to fuck up.
Next comes the 'How do i do this delicately?'...even for the smallest things and then you'd choose not to say it and over time it brews and then a fucking Hydrogen bomb is let loose.
Syu and I were lucky in that aspect, we could tell each other off to our faces and yet be fine. The only reason things weren't as peachy is because we realised that we took each other for granted and in turn it put a miniscule strain on our relationship for a bit.
Yes and till today we live together-its god's way of punishing us-'Karma'
Yes so the point i was trying to make was, sometimes just because you are best of pals or chums doesn't mean moving in together is a party. Its hard work...very hard work.
Boils down to the small things like communication, understanding and the most basic- rules and privacy.
Everything around us is based on rules. When we follow rules, damage control is in place.
Thus making everyone happy with the outcome of whatever unsavoury situation thats bugging them.
Its quite simple- Rules are guidelines, when we have guidelines-we'd know our limits. We'd have borders.
Animals understood that with territorial pissing!
We wouldn't know whats privacy if it were never invaded.
Its when you don't demand it, you get it...because you are an open book with nothing more left to discover. Now its eternal bliss-no one bothers you.
Reena said something brilliant "the only reason i'm still with you is because i still don't know you and i won't leave until i know you, its because you keep me interested"
Excellent, now people leave because they know you.
If only all relationships were this simple.
Well Bee Kins and I just helped CJ shift her stuff over, so this would mean CJ REENA and BEE KINS are officially housemates.
So after working out my biceps, forceps (no its not a muscle)and triceps i sat back with a smoke and reminiscenced over the times i moved and why i moved and with whom i moved..(now i sound like a nomad).
Sometimes best friends make the worst housemates...seriously.
Syu and I are living examples. We openly admit that our relationship was much better when we didn't live together.
*yes we sound like we are married, and yes reena keeps saying we are like one of those couples who've been married really long*
I guess,when it comes to living with someone you love unconditionally i.e: best friends, expectations are different-if not the same maybe higher. Then we tend to take each other for granted. Soon we'd be at each other's throats for the smallest things because its not acceptable for one of us to fuck up.
Next comes the 'How do i do this delicately?'...even for the smallest things and then you'd choose not to say it and over time it brews and then a fucking Hydrogen bomb is let loose.
Syu and I were lucky in that aspect, we could tell each other off to our faces and yet be fine. The only reason things weren't as peachy is because we realised that we took each other for granted and in turn it put a miniscule strain on our relationship for a bit.
Yes and till today we live together-its god's way of punishing us-'Karma'
Yes so the point i was trying to make was, sometimes just because you are best of pals or chums doesn't mean moving in together is a party. Its hard work...very hard work.
Boils down to the small things like communication, understanding and the most basic- rules and privacy.
Everything around us is based on rules. When we follow rules, damage control is in place.
Thus making everyone happy with the outcome of whatever unsavoury situation thats bugging them.
Its quite simple- Rules are guidelines, when we have guidelines-we'd know our limits. We'd have borders.
Animals understood that with territorial pissing!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Chibsss
I have a habit of shortening every cuss word to form a new easily understood nick name.
Eg: Puki= Puksss, Chi Bai= Chibsss, Pundek= Punsss etc.
Now that i have Puksss, Chibsss and Punsss...the next step would be to enforce them...or basically force them onto people.
So every now and then when i'm trying to get the attention of one of my housemates i'd say
" eh puksss, is it on tonight?"
And almost everytime they answer, without questioning the nick. How exciting is that?
Trendsetter.
Now how do trends come about? Easy its all about the one eyed jack leading the filthy rich@blind into believing that this item X is all about NOW...and is a must HAVE.
SO...now i assume the role of the one eyed jack and lead my non-vulgar housemates through a crash course of abuses.
Overtime these 'nicks' have turned out to be affectionate terms.
I'd never have another puksss as cool as Azie or another punsss as sweet as Syu (now replace the newly coinned term with the actual word and see if you laugh at that statement)
The other day Pisa asked me if i've ever thought about what life would be like if i chose to do something different.
I did and i also thought of how fast i would've left Uni and started earning and probably be of assistance to my parents.
Thought of it right from collage till today, i realised everything would be different.
I wouldn't know the people i know today, i wouldn't be as exposed as i am and i wouldn't have learnt russian or the culture.
Truth is...i really thought about it and i realised i could never see myself doing anything else besides Medicine.
I like the whole economic theory concept and all, but to me its more of reading em up on the sidelines.
I'd really like to learn about business, but not as my bread and butter maybe as an expansion plan.
They say you are what you do...SO what does that make me?
Eg: Puki= Puksss, Chi Bai= Chibsss, Pundek= Punsss etc.
Now that i have Puksss, Chibsss and Punsss...the next step would be to enforce them...or basically force them onto people.
So every now and then when i'm trying to get the attention of one of my housemates i'd say
" eh puksss, is it on tonight?"
And almost everytime they answer, without questioning the nick. How exciting is that?
Trendsetter.
Now how do trends come about? Easy its all about the one eyed jack leading the filthy rich@blind into believing that this item X is all about NOW...and is a must HAVE.
SO...now i assume the role of the one eyed jack and lead my non-vulgar housemates through a crash course of abuses.
Overtime these 'nicks' have turned out to be affectionate terms.
I'd never have another puksss as cool as Azie or another punsss as sweet as Syu (now replace the newly coinned term with the actual word and see if you laugh at that statement)
The other day Pisa asked me if i've ever thought about what life would be like if i chose to do something different.
I did and i also thought of how fast i would've left Uni and started earning and probably be of assistance to my parents.
Thought of it right from collage till today, i realised everything would be different.
I wouldn't know the people i know today, i wouldn't be as exposed as i am and i wouldn't have learnt russian or the culture.
Truth is...i really thought about it and i realised i could never see myself doing anything else besides Medicine.
I like the whole economic theory concept and all, but to me its more of reading em up on the sidelines.
I'd really like to learn about business, but not as my bread and butter maybe as an expansion plan.
They say you are what you do...SO what does that make me?
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Waltz on
*Headphones on-good ass Tchaikovsky playing, leaning back and all that i need now is a whiskey*
Another stretch of public holidays...
What have i come to?I don't seem all that enthusiastic about having time off.
Maybe i do but since i tend to binge think at times, sudden thoughts of commitments come flooding back.
CJ's due to be back tomorrow, thats going to be fun. She'll definitely have lots to tell and would expect the same from us.
Today's farewell/annual BBQ was interesting for reasons as such:
1) Introduction of houses (as in primary school houses) for sports...wait they don't qualify as sporting events...in Malay its known as 'sukaneka'.
2) Organisers were 4th year juniors and they did a good job.
3) Syu and I were the biggest suckers for team spirit. She was captain of the red team and yours truly was co-capt.
4) Oh and yes...i won my first ever lucky draw...'lucky draw' is an interesting term.
Life is one helluva big lucky draw, make the choice and find out what you draw.Perfect.
Regarding our HOUSES we belong to the RED HOUSE...haha...that term cracks me up.
Well the RED HOUSE *still laughing* seemed to be the biggest competitor. There's something about me and adrenaline which i'm still trying to figure out.
Also in the RH-Reena and Wing Man.-they weren't going to attend but their captain called them up and casted an emotional blackmail.
Syu basically told reena that she wouldn't talk to her ever if she doesn't show up. *sigh*
Looks like there's a child in everyone of us, especially when it comes to reliving primary school 'sukaneka'. hahahahahaha...
Got all excited when i found out there was futsal tonight. I figured futsal's a buffer.Its my buffer.
But, one by one people started to cancel.Because they have class tomorrow!!!...damn those public holidays!
Yes in Russia and only in Russia do they give you a long stretch off just to be told to 'replace' classes on Sunday.
So now i'm a little disappointed.No actually i'm over it. Just watched this movie 'The Matador', Azie freaked out when she realised Pierce Brosnan has actually aged so much. Reason for freaking out? "Now i feel old"
I heard somewhere that capricorns age very gracefully, infact they become better looking as they age. (ok ok...vanity is my sin)
I have one question, anyone with answers please do help.
Why would a stranger approach you and tell you things you don't qualify to know and know you'd be able to help? i mean how does this person know you'd be able to help?
Another stretch of public holidays...
What have i come to?I don't seem all that enthusiastic about having time off.
Maybe i do but since i tend to binge think at times, sudden thoughts of commitments come flooding back.
CJ's due to be back tomorrow, thats going to be fun. She'll definitely have lots to tell and would expect the same from us.
Today's farewell/annual BBQ was interesting for reasons as such:
1) Introduction of houses (as in primary school houses) for sports...wait they don't qualify as sporting events...in Malay its known as 'sukaneka'.
2) Organisers were 4th year juniors and they did a good job.
3) Syu and I were the biggest suckers for team spirit. She was captain of the red team and yours truly was co-capt.
4) Oh and yes...i won my first ever lucky draw...'lucky draw' is an interesting term.
Life is one helluva big lucky draw, make the choice and find out what you draw.Perfect.
Regarding our HOUSES we belong to the RED HOUSE...haha...that term cracks me up.
Well the RED HOUSE *still laughing* seemed to be the biggest competitor. There's something about me and adrenaline which i'm still trying to figure out.
Also in the RH-Reena and Wing Man.-they weren't going to attend but their captain called them up and casted an emotional blackmail.
Syu basically told reena that she wouldn't talk to her ever if she doesn't show up. *sigh*
Looks like there's a child in everyone of us, especially when it comes to reliving primary school 'sukaneka'. hahahahahaha...
Got all excited when i found out there was futsal tonight. I figured futsal's a buffer.Its my buffer.
But, one by one people started to cancel.Because they have class tomorrow!!!...damn those public holidays!
Yes in Russia and only in Russia do they give you a long stretch off just to be told to 'replace' classes on Sunday.
So now i'm a little disappointed.No actually i'm over it. Just watched this movie 'The Matador', Azie freaked out when she realised Pierce Brosnan has actually aged so much. Reason for freaking out? "Now i feel old"
I heard somewhere that capricorns age very gracefully, infact they become better looking as they age. (ok ok...vanity is my sin)
I have one question, anyone with answers please do help.
Why would a stranger approach you and tell you things you don't qualify to know and know you'd be able to help? i mean how does this person know you'd be able to help?
Friday, May 05, 2006
Absolution
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Bringing back to Adel's post of limits...each choice comes with limits.
Choosing power over objective limits clarity.Limits your field of vision and retards your intellect.
When we were younger, optimism wasn't a choice but a must. These optimists set out to do some good and figured "hey lets start up something to promote unity among us students"
4Years, 3 Intervarsity games, 1 charity dinner and numerous gatherings later, an outsider walks into the picture wanting a slice of the fun.
This outsider who is clearly deluded and not a student thinks this fraternity belongs to him which basically beats the purpose of the association in the first place.
My point? This person seems to think with the authority vested in him, he calls the shots.Which brings us back to - Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Disclaimer: Only quoted the story to illustrate power and delusion. Has nothing to do with me or anyone within a 2m radius from me.
Talking about choices and people, the forbidden fruit story gets more interesting.
Questions like why can't commitment be a word reserved for later stages? Why does every action have to have an equal and opposite reaction?
Well, i guess it boils down to fundamental things like needs and wants. (and physics)
Always backed up by Drive, Ambition and Vision.
I truly believe some forbidden fruits deserve a bite...just to know how sinfully yummy it really is.
Someone once said "work like you don't need the money...love like you've never been hurt before...and dance like you would when no one's watching"
Its about living your life without regrets. You should be able to look back one day and say i am not sorry for my decisions.
Bringing back to Adel's post of limits...each choice comes with limits.
Choosing power over objective limits clarity.Limits your field of vision and retards your intellect.
When we were younger, optimism wasn't a choice but a must. These optimists set out to do some good and figured "hey lets start up something to promote unity among us students"
4Years, 3 Intervarsity games, 1 charity dinner and numerous gatherings later, an outsider walks into the picture wanting a slice of the fun.
This outsider who is clearly deluded and not a student thinks this fraternity belongs to him which basically beats the purpose of the association in the first place.
My point? This person seems to think with the authority vested in him, he calls the shots.Which brings us back to - Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Disclaimer: Only quoted the story to illustrate power and delusion. Has nothing to do with me or anyone within a 2m radius from me.
Talking about choices and people, the forbidden fruit story gets more interesting.
Questions like why can't commitment be a word reserved for later stages? Why does every action have to have an equal and opposite reaction?
Well, i guess it boils down to fundamental things like needs and wants. (and physics)
Always backed up by Drive, Ambition and Vision.
I truly believe some forbidden fruits deserve a bite...just to know how sinfully yummy it really is.
Someone once said "work like you don't need the money...love like you've never been hurt before...and dance like you would when no one's watching"
Its about living your life without regrets. You should be able to look back one day and say i am not sorry for my decisions.
Citizen Cope.
That is one day i'm never going to forget...ever. Yes azie we FFK-ed you in Amsterdam. Sorry Mate (i secretly hope you never see this post). Why am i blogging this? Nostalgia I suppose.
Rollin' down the highway
Like a rocket
God I'm headed to town now
Can't stop it With the wheels in my hand
As I stand
On the floor
Of the board
Of this car
On the road
Got this woman in the back seat
She's my wifey
In the middle of delivery
Man she save me
To this day
I don't know why
She picked me up
When I was down
on the road with the wind when it blowed
Well the son's gonna rise in a mile
In a mile you'll be feeling fine
In a mile you will see After me
You'll be out of the dark
Yeah you'll get your shot
Fruits and such
"Odd. Forbidden fruits are never quite in your hand even if you break eventually.Slippery little fuckers,"
Thats how my day ended...and started.
Anyone willing to decipher that statement for me?
So this is how it goes, i've got something within my reach but not close enough to grab on to.
Do i wait and watch? Do i let it pass? Do i give it a second thought?
Perhaps its one of those things that exsist to remind you of the good things.
Fairly exciting day, i'm having the 'Langdon Syndrome', i.e: chockful of cryptic msgs.
Cryptic msgs are only exciting when the creator's intelligent, charming and mysterious...
Moving towards more unappealing events:
The NATO general assembly, surprisingly more non-committee members showed up compared to committee members. I failed to see the purpose of their being there. As usuall we only spoke about things that've already been decided. I believe i failed in meeting my own expectations today-didn't collect the payment for the robes from my group members. (and how dare i call the rest NATOs?)
Before the meeting, K called me up to inform me of the 'unhappiness' amongst the hosteliers and suggested a meeting to straighten things out. Accepted.
So we arrange for a meeting( yes besides the NATO general assembly) for about 75 students, of which 30 show up and do not approach pressing issues like Examination dates or questions regarding our robes or graduation day itself. Instead, we did a thesis on 'ways to justify the reception'.
Excellent.
Now we've got people wanting accountability for 200 rubles but not 800 rubles. (simple minds think alike)
Meetings like this just illustrate how much free time some people have on their hands.
Sometime between meeting 1(1500hrs) and meeting 2(1900hrs), Patil (a junior who owns a restaurant) called up to inform me that he'd be able to suggest a good menu for our reception at a reasonable price- i.e 600rubles *sigh*
So i slot him in right after meeting 2 so that would be 2100hrs...well we went over to his joint and checked out the menu and drafted out something preliminary. It all went well, but what was unbelievable was the fact that-we didn't leave his place til about 0130hrs.
Parking Ass has never been given the recognition it deserves-leave it to us to do that!
Was however impressed with the Turkish Coffee...i think i need to cut down on my coffee consumption. Its a wonder that i don't have shares with Nescafe' or Kopi Cap Tupai.
He wanted to impress-so got his chef to prepare stuff that might be suitable as 'finger food'. I am impressed by the effort he put in...and told him i'll definitely advocate (to the committee) acquiring his services (that sounds perv-ish).
Anyways, walked home-the weather's beautiful-for bondings and such.
Ritz, Azie and I had a luxurious stroll down memory lane while strolling...
Ritz wants to turn back time and both of us are kind of down...see the snows all gone which means graduation day's nearing, which would in turn mean the time for us to part would soon follow.
Reached the entrance and further delayed entering. Decided to sit outside for a bit and just talk.
Until we realised we've got Forensic Medicine at 0900hrs.
Time to pack it in.
Who is THE forbidden fruit?
Enlighten me please.
Thats how my day ended...and started.
Anyone willing to decipher that statement for me?
So this is how it goes, i've got something within my reach but not close enough to grab on to.
Do i wait and watch? Do i let it pass? Do i give it a second thought?
Perhaps its one of those things that exsist to remind you of the good things.
Fairly exciting day, i'm having the 'Langdon Syndrome', i.e: chockful of cryptic msgs.
Cryptic msgs are only exciting when the creator's intelligent, charming and mysterious...
Moving towards more unappealing events:
The NATO general assembly, surprisingly more non-committee members showed up compared to committee members. I failed to see the purpose of their being there. As usuall we only spoke about things that've already been decided. I believe i failed in meeting my own expectations today-didn't collect the payment for the robes from my group members. (and how dare i call the rest NATOs?)
Before the meeting, K called me up to inform me of the 'unhappiness' amongst the hosteliers and suggested a meeting to straighten things out. Accepted.
So we arrange for a meeting( yes besides the NATO general assembly) for about 75 students, of which 30 show up and do not approach pressing issues like Examination dates or questions regarding our robes or graduation day itself. Instead, we did a thesis on 'ways to justify the reception'.
Excellent.
Now we've got people wanting accountability for 200 rubles but not 800 rubles. (simple minds think alike)
Meetings like this just illustrate how much free time some people have on their hands.
Sometime between meeting 1(1500hrs) and meeting 2(1900hrs), Patil (a junior who owns a restaurant) called up to inform me that he'd be able to suggest a good menu for our reception at a reasonable price- i.e 600rubles *sigh*
So i slot him in right after meeting 2 so that would be 2100hrs...well we went over to his joint and checked out the menu and drafted out something preliminary. It all went well, but what was unbelievable was the fact that-we didn't leave his place til about 0130hrs.
Parking Ass has never been given the recognition it deserves-leave it to us to do that!
Was however impressed with the Turkish Coffee...i think i need to cut down on my coffee consumption. Its a wonder that i don't have shares with Nescafe' or Kopi Cap Tupai.
He wanted to impress-so got his chef to prepare stuff that might be suitable as 'finger food'. I am impressed by the effort he put in...and told him i'll definitely advocate (to the committee) acquiring his services (that sounds perv-ish).
Anyways, walked home-the weather's beautiful-for bondings and such.
Ritz, Azie and I had a luxurious stroll down memory lane while strolling...
Ritz wants to turn back time and both of us are kind of down...see the snows all gone which means graduation day's nearing, which would in turn mean the time for us to part would soon follow.
Reached the entrance and further delayed entering. Decided to sit outside for a bit and just talk.
Until we realised we've got Forensic Medicine at 0900hrs.
Time to pack it in.
Who is THE forbidden fruit?
Enlighten me please.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Reflections
Its been 3 days since the commencement of May.
Must say...this is going to be one unpredictable month. I ushered in the month lazing around...till now i'm lazing around. See its not my fault, i'm jobless until the 9th and we've only got classes on the 3rd,4th and 5th. (1st and 2nd were holls/8th and 9th are public holls as well)
Had class, didn't attend...(yeah love living dangerously).Basically had a presentation and we had to do it in groups of 5, and i had a reliable group-the kind that has your back (thats only possible when the group is made up of your friends-azie dipta ritz and syu). So i believe we did just fine and i'll have to go get my credit book signed.
Took a look at the photos from Kursk, unfortunately the external memory card's full so...its not in yet...but they are pretty nice...and i never realised how RED our jerseys were...wait they still are.
Have been reading random blogs, correction not random but blogs that belong to people who are friends of friends. (what do you call that?3rd degree?)
Seems like everyone's in a reflective mood, some scrutinizing, some analyzing, some accepting, some questioning.
Looks like everybody has a story...everybody wants answers...everybody wants chances.
The weather's beautiful today...its about 20degrees outside and i'm indoors staring at the Laptop-some of us just don't value the small things.
I've decided to stop analyzing soo much...and instead concentrate on the things that put a smile on my face...
Asked myself a couple of 'Like' questions...and here's what i found out:
a) I like the fact that the sun sets only after 9pm during spring.
b) I like sitting outdoors with a few people with a beer in one hand with comfortable silence.(just watching the world move-during daylight)
c) Like the smell of fresh laundry and still can't figure out a way to stop my clothes from smelling like smoke. (don't suggest quitting Einstien)
d) I like it when i could just do nothing all day.
e) I like random msgs that have only 1 line-an important one.
f) I like the olympic spirit that exsists within this individual called Syu-see she's really bad at cracking jokes,yet she tries. ('Olympic Spirit')
g) I like the fact that i'm laidback and hardly break under pressure. ( a bit of gloating there)
h) I like the way me ma fusses over me like i'm some kid...(although i claim to hate it)
i) Black beer...yumsss...unfiltered...and ale...
j) Chatting on the phone with ma and piss her off with my lame pranks...(ok now i'm thinking i subconciously miss her)
k) And of late futsal-it blocks out everything unpleasant-and the churning hormones does wonders for your libido and mood (ok pls choose to ignore that part)
(these are the lesser known things about me)
And then come the things that you need to function normally...
-food,glorious food
-Music...lots and lots of it
-smokies
-huggies
-Laughs
-Friends+family
-stupidity (without which life wouldn't be fun)....oh and liquids H2O...highly essential.
Waittt!!!....COFFEE...ahh...and my unwinding time with my unwinding buddies.
That reminds me, CJ's in bristol...i see that she's doing fine, her blogs are informative.
Huggles lots of it...i've mentioned it before haven't i?
I think i forgot to include the Net and Phone...just not sure where they belong.
Me thinks, i over did the whole 'Like' thing...well, i think the point i was getting to was--> The good things in life no matter how small, never fail to put a smile on my face. Oh but wait...if i've been having a bad day, pls don't present me with a plate full of stupidity (since i mentioned without it life isn't fun), i might not smile and neither will you.
To be honest, these things are constantly around us, its just that we are too self absorbed to take a moment and just appreciate the things/people who keep us going.
George Bernard Shaw once said "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
Observe...anyone interested in star gazing tonight?
Must say...this is going to be one unpredictable month. I ushered in the month lazing around...till now i'm lazing around. See its not my fault, i'm jobless until the 9th and we've only got classes on the 3rd,4th and 5th. (1st and 2nd were holls/8th and 9th are public holls as well)
Had class, didn't attend...(yeah love living dangerously).Basically had a presentation and we had to do it in groups of 5, and i had a reliable group-the kind that has your back (thats only possible when the group is made up of your friends-azie dipta ritz and syu). So i believe we did just fine and i'll have to go get my credit book signed.
Took a look at the photos from Kursk, unfortunately the external memory card's full so...its not in yet...but they are pretty nice...and i never realised how RED our jerseys were...wait they still are.
Have been reading random blogs, correction not random but blogs that belong to people who are friends of friends. (what do you call that?3rd degree?)
Seems like everyone's in a reflective mood, some scrutinizing, some analyzing, some accepting, some questioning.
Looks like everybody has a story...everybody wants answers...everybody wants chances.
The weather's beautiful today...its about 20degrees outside and i'm indoors staring at the Laptop-some of us just don't value the small things.
I've decided to stop analyzing soo much...and instead concentrate on the things that put a smile on my face...
Asked myself a couple of 'Like' questions...and here's what i found out:
a) I like the fact that the sun sets only after 9pm during spring.
b) I like sitting outdoors with a few people with a beer in one hand with comfortable silence.(just watching the world move-during daylight)
c) Like the smell of fresh laundry and still can't figure out a way to stop my clothes from smelling like smoke. (don't suggest quitting Einstien)
d) I like it when i could just do nothing all day.
e) I like random msgs that have only 1 line-an important one.
f) I like the olympic spirit that exsists within this individual called Syu-see she's really bad at cracking jokes,yet she tries. ('Olympic Spirit')
g) I like the fact that i'm laidback and hardly break under pressure. ( a bit of gloating there)
h) I like the way me ma fusses over me like i'm some kid...(although i claim to hate it)
i) Black beer...yumsss...unfiltered...and ale...
j) Chatting on the phone with ma and piss her off with my lame pranks...(ok now i'm thinking i subconciously miss her)
k) And of late futsal-it blocks out everything unpleasant-and the churning hormones does wonders for your libido and mood (ok pls choose to ignore that part)
(these are the lesser known things about me)
And then come the things that you need to function normally...
-food,glorious food
-Music...lots and lots of it
-smokies
-huggies
-Laughs
-Friends+family
-stupidity (without which life wouldn't be fun)....oh and liquids H2O...highly essential.
Waittt!!!....COFFEE...ahh...and my unwinding time with my unwinding buddies.
That reminds me, CJ's in bristol...i see that she's doing fine, her blogs are informative.
Huggles lots of it...i've mentioned it before haven't i?
I think i forgot to include the Net and Phone...just not sure where they belong.
Me thinks, i over did the whole 'Like' thing...well, i think the point i was getting to was--> The good things in life no matter how small, never fail to put a smile on my face. Oh but wait...if i've been having a bad day, pls don't present me with a plate full of stupidity (since i mentioned without it life isn't fun), i might not smile and neither will you.
To be honest, these things are constantly around us, its just that we are too self absorbed to take a moment and just appreciate the things/people who keep us going.
George Bernard Shaw once said "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
Observe...anyone interested in star gazing tonight?
Monday, May 01, 2006
I'm Back
The past few days have been crazy, a total 72hours of pure adrenaline.
Kursk is an experience to remember, surprisingly i met some old friends, made some new ones and had my moment of glory.
Been home for only about 10hours since sunday (caught some shut eye and took a shower)
Head's pounding and i'm filled with questions, decided i need to disappear for a bit and packed an over night bag...now i'm at reen's, having my space and sanity in place.
I'm aware that the greatest driving force of the human race is selfishness, but seriously how selfish CAN you get?
Was kicking myself quite hard for about 24hours...my poor judgement of people whom i thought i knew was clearly wrong and i felt like quite an arse.
Sometimes to do the right thing requires you to be selfish and more often than that would to be selfless...i believe i could count selfless people with my fingers.
I've learnt one important lesson, never ever let somebody else get credit for your achievements...the world is such a blind place that no matter what you do or how you do it, you are never recognized...unless you run around screaming out loud that you did it...
(till this very moment i never saw the need to do that, but today i do)
The results :
Futsal Female : 3rd place
Futsal Male : 2nd Place
Overall results- we came in 2nd.Obviously Kursk State was 1st...
I didn't do as well in pool...it was all or nothing, and sometimes its a wrong attitude but yeah...
I had my reasons...and it feels soo bloody good. (although here's the part you should be getting credit)
One more thing- if anyone ever leaves doing the dirty job to me...i will castrate you and feed your penis to a bunch of hyenas.
Must say that the whole thing was well organized but of course...there'll always be someone or something that ruins the spirit of the whole thing, i.e: make the event a money making tool, politics etc.
Well am back now in my comfort zone and for some dumb reason i wish i had a stun gun, everytime someone or the other opens their mouth i'll just use it and in that way i wouldn't have to tolerate any humanoid form of cluster fuckness or auditory irritation.
Adel: Thank you for the generous helpings of luck...
I'm just going to learn to deal with betrayal for a bit now...once i'm done with it, i'd probably return to being my old self...
Footnote: this post might sound angry...more than anger its unhappiness-the kind thats not induced by hurt but by anger...the kind which makes you think, "i thought i knew you better?"
Maybe its a cowardly act to blog it down, but honestly, i've tried talking before- it was disasterous...so...i choose a path that doesn't require ears but selective vision (read if you want to)
Trust me, i don't have a god complex, but in Reena's words "babe, you were the bigger and better person...and i'm proud of you,"...
Kursk is an experience to remember, surprisingly i met some old friends, made some new ones and had my moment of glory.
Been home for only about 10hours since sunday (caught some shut eye and took a shower)
Head's pounding and i'm filled with questions, decided i need to disappear for a bit and packed an over night bag...now i'm at reen's, having my space and sanity in place.
I'm aware that the greatest driving force of the human race is selfishness, but seriously how selfish CAN you get?
Was kicking myself quite hard for about 24hours...my poor judgement of people whom i thought i knew was clearly wrong and i felt like quite an arse.
Sometimes to do the right thing requires you to be selfish and more often than that would to be selfless...i believe i could count selfless people with my fingers.
I've learnt one important lesson, never ever let somebody else get credit for your achievements...the world is such a blind place that no matter what you do or how you do it, you are never recognized...unless you run around screaming out loud that you did it...
(till this very moment i never saw the need to do that, but today i do)
The results :
Futsal Female : 3rd place
Futsal Male : 2nd Place
Overall results- we came in 2nd.Obviously Kursk State was 1st...
I didn't do as well in pool...it was all or nothing, and sometimes its a wrong attitude but yeah...
I had my reasons...and it feels soo bloody good. (although here's the part you should be getting credit)
One more thing- if anyone ever leaves doing the dirty job to me...i will castrate you and feed your penis to a bunch of hyenas.
Must say that the whole thing was well organized but of course...there'll always be someone or something that ruins the spirit of the whole thing, i.e: make the event a money making tool, politics etc.
Well am back now in my comfort zone and for some dumb reason i wish i had a stun gun, everytime someone or the other opens their mouth i'll just use it and in that way i wouldn't have to tolerate any humanoid form of cluster fuckness or auditory irritation.
Adel: Thank you for the generous helpings of luck...
I'm just going to learn to deal with betrayal for a bit now...once i'm done with it, i'd probably return to being my old self...
Footnote: this post might sound angry...more than anger its unhappiness-the kind thats not induced by hurt but by anger...the kind which makes you think, "i thought i knew you better?"
Maybe its a cowardly act to blog it down, but honestly, i've tried talking before- it was disasterous...so...i choose a path that doesn't require ears but selective vision (read if you want to)
Trust me, i don't have a god complex, but in Reena's words "babe, you were the bigger and better person...and i'm proud of you,"...
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