9 Crimes

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
that alright with you?
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright with you?
with you.

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
but she's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright with you?
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?
Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?

No...

Janteloven

Just finished 'the zahir' by Paulo Coelho and came across The Commandments of Jante,i absolutely had to check it out as the author hadn't elaborated in the book.
Well here you are:
“The Commandments of Jante”:
1. You shall not think that you ARE something.
2. You shall not think that you are as much as US.
3. You shall not think that you are wiser than US.
4. You shall not imagine that you are better than US.
5. You shall not think that you know more than US
6. You shall not think that you are better than US.
7. You shall not think that YOU are good at anything.
8. You shall not laugh at US.
9. You shall not think that anyone cares about YOU.
10. You shall not think that you can teach US anything.

According to the Jante Law, everyone is equal and cleverness or intelligence does not make you a better person.

Janteloven - the Jante Law - is a code of down-to-earth conformity formulated by Danish/Norwegian author Aksel Sandemose in the 1930s but still very much alive in Danish society today.
Honestly it isnt as bad as it sounds, its actual aim is to keep your feet firmly on the ground...it infact requires higher understanding.
...or so i thought,until i came across this on the net:

Modesty is highly valued in Norway. That is why many will outwardly give the impression of being very modest while they might be thinking something completely the opposite. Here’s an example:

Tom is elected class president. He thinks, “This will be fun. I am definitely the best person for this task. Obviously, that’s why they chose me. I’ll be the best class president ever, and maybe I can advance to Student body president too.”
But he SAYS, “It is a great honour for me to be elected by you, as I am sure any one of you would do a better job than I. I will take my job very seriously, to serve you in the best possible way that I can, as I feel it is my duty to say “yes” after you have shown me so much trust.”

See?

Chasing Cars

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
But not enough

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

...you were right,this song gets into your head and doesnt leave,and yes it is very romantic.*sigh*

100th,woo hoo!!!

Since this is my 100th post, it has to be special in some way right? (excuses!excuses!)
Anyways,i would like to dedicate this post to the people around me,whom have and will always love me.People whom i DARE to call friends.
For a person who considers some of her family members-friends and some friends as family members,friendship is a BIG-DAMN-DEAL!

There's got to be one special mention though:To The ONE who's FRUSTRATED WITH ME.
i'm not growing up too fast and neither am i drifting away,thank you for lecturing me and loving me unconditionally.The fact that u want the old me back is touching-since all i did was raise your blood pressure and cause heart aches.

Then there's my significant other who tries very hard to update me with every moment of the day,but as Tennessee Williams once said, "for time's the longest distance between two places"

Friends are perfect in every way,except for one flaw-they are human.I may fall short of your expectations,but worry not for i will be right by your side at the crucial moment.

Came across this sometime back- "friendships are overrated".....hmm...now what is that suppose to mean? someone kindly enlighten me.

Coming back to this post-Oleg Karkhordin wrote a paper on the politics of friendship:"By definition, a friend was an individual who would not let you down even under direct menace to him- or herself; a person to whom one could securely entrust one's controversial thoughts since he or she would never betray them, even under pressure. Friendship thus in a sense became an ultimate value produced in resistance struggles in the Soviet Union".

*sigh*
Friendship's priceless...we shall not F*** around with it....nor shall we take it for granted.

Seriously,i will not try bringing down ANY government without my FRIENDS.

I may not show it,but i do love you people.

Situational situations

I've only done 98 posts...so lets omit all my favourite lyrics,photos...and random ramblings,that would leave me with NO official posts.Nice?

I love reading the papers with my morning coffee...wait let me rephrase that, i USED to love reading the papers with my morning coffee (why specify 'morning'?-that marks the start of my day and all i ever drink is coffee) but since my return from Moscow, i find it rather distasteful to start my day with a Joke Gone Wrong i.e The Newspapers.Its more like a Politically Correct tabloid.
Guess what was in it today?- Siti Nurhaliza being rewarded 'Datuk'ship by the Sultan of Pahang. Seriously,how can u NOT laugh at that?

Moving on to more Interesting things, here's something my significant other asked me to blog about: How do you react to eavesdroppers?Are you receptive or reactive? (hahaha...no such thing but sounds good though)

Situation:
Your at a restaurant having dinner with a couple of friends, the topic of discussion is something technical but not of your specialization (for eg:you are a Doctor by qualification but the topic is something engineering related).You seem to be having opposing ideas about the topic and a fellow patron at the next table suddenly interjects with his/her opinion.Now, How would you react to this person?
Would You...
a)Thank him/her and continue with your conversation.
b)Tell him/her that its isn't their business and make it known to this person that its absolutely rude for them to eavesdrop.
c)Just stare at this person blankly and continue doing what you were doing.

Obviously these arent the only options but merely examples,peoples reactions vary from person to person depending on upbringing,temperament,nature of the topic in discussion etc.
How you react though,tells a lot about a person.
Would love some feedback.Please feel free.

This next situation is based on my own personal experience:
Reena, Jason and i were at a Cafe sometime back at an odd hour for most but a perfectly normal time for us.Its was during winter and there was this one guy who walked in looking slightly high and was all alone.We noticed that he took an interest in us but we continued our conversation.After sometime he took his laptop out and was looking at some photos.He then came over to our table and asked if he could sit with us and get to know us.(Now all of this is new because in Moscow people arent as friendly as THAT.We noticed he was high and well he did look harmless so we agreed.)
The conversation was difficult because he spoke no english but understood a little.He showed us the photos he was looking at and explained each one of it.It was then,that we realised that we made a lonely man feel happy.The pictures were of his girlfriend who was in London, he has been working to save up for a visit.We spoke for a while,he gave us his business card and parted ways.

Initially we felt as if our privacy was violated...but the turning point was when we agreed to him joining us.It was uncomfortable for the first 10minutes,the followng 20minutes wasnt bad.

The question i was asked to ponder about was "How do you think he felt?"
-Not so lonely?...Well received?

This reminds me of The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield (only the energy part of it):
A Matter of Energy
We now experience that we live not in a material universe, but in a universe of dynamic energy. Everything extant is a field of sacred energy that we can sense and intuit. Moreover, we humans can project our energy by focusing our attention in the desired direction...where attention goes, energy flows...influencing other energy systems and increasing the pace of coincidences in our lives.

All of the above is meant for discussion.

It was my first Deepavali at home in 6years,and it was awesome.Thats probably because nothing was planned.Looks like i'm warming up to Malaysia aren't I?

Happy Deepavali and Happy Eid.

Supermassive Black Holes and SUPER BUMs

So i took like FOREVER to make an entry; be fair now, i was waiting for an epiphany.

No actually,i wasn't used to NOT having anything significant to think about besides dinner or channel surfing.

Sometimes we suffocate on NOTHING-NESS.Sometime we need an excuse to suffocate.
Did I Mention though,that i'm off those carcinogenic packs of 20s?
A lot of you are scratching your heads right NOW.Thats all right, i understand, was soo hooked no one would've thought i could give it up.
Funny, no withdrawal syndrome...just a massive oral fixation.(nothing i couldn't handle)hehe.

I'm planning to get a massive dose of anti-histamines...i've got to be allergic to SOMETHING...having seizures at the thought of working at home.

Here's something beautiful about the human race-their undying love for words like COULD'VE,WOULD'VE,SHOULD'VE etc. Especially used like this: "We should've left earlier." or "I would've have done it IF only you had told me so"...trust me it gets better!
Seriously, STOP! please, you aren't helping anyone by giving redundant input,oh well,if it makes you feel any better...
Stop addressing the past,you aren't going to change anything.Think about NOW.

Anyways, on a lighter note being a super bum's more like being an Ad Actress.Minimal wages and working hours with loads of publicity. Excellent.
Well its been an unpredictable month for most of us.Lots been going on.Evolution of the other kind.Very constructive period for most.

I MISSED BLOGGING,I'M GLAD I'M BACK.
I also miss Pisa,Wingman,CY,Ritim,Ashish (in no particular order...lol)MOSCOW,My old Apartment,COffee Mania,Autumn,The Legendary Russian Etiquette...(not the end,carpal tunnel playing up)

You know what's really odd?
the fact that i THINK my greatest fear is losing my sense of humour!

Random Rants are the best kind of blogs.Cheers Mates.

I write SINs not TRAGEDIES

Oh, well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words.
"What a beautiful wedding!, What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"Ah yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."

I chimed in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I chimed in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of hope.

Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for, a toast so, pour the champagne
Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne.

I chimed in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I chimed in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.

*Home*

Being Home...

Isn't as BAD as i thought i would be...infact its awesome.Really.
Small things make home,Home.

Stuff you thought you'd never hear again..."Hari,why are our kids soo immoral?" (thats my mum fussing over my brother's progress report, he btw, got a B)

Or,

"Are we such terrible conversationalists?Why can't they chat with us?" (mum to dad,this too after my brother's class teacher complained that my brother's talkative.irony-we aren't all that noisy at home)

And,

"Are we on an austerity drive?Aren't there enough rooms in this house?"
(thats dad at 12am on a work night,when mum and my brother both decide to have a pre-slumber chat on his bed,taking up his space and sleep time-the austerity drive part is about the AC and Lights in other parts of the house)

Gotta Love Em...

Still doesn't change the fact that i miss Moscow...

Sitting,Waiting,Wishing...

Now I was sitting waiting wishing
That you believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing your fool?

I sing ya songs I dance a dance
I gave ya friends all a chance
Putting up with them wasn't worth never having you
And maybe you been through this before
But its my first time
So please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I cant always be waiting waiting on you
I cant always be playing playing your fool
I keep playing your part
But its not my scene
Wont this plot not twist?
I've had enough mystery.
Keep building me up, then shooting me down
Well im already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting

Well if I was in your position
Id put down all my ammunition
I'd wondered why'd it taken me so long
But Lord knows that I'm not you
And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do

Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing your fool?
No I cant always be waiting waiting on you
I cant always be playing playing your fool, foool

-Jack Johnson

Nocebo

Recently i read an article about 'Nocebo:the evil twin of placebo'...why it caught my eye?
Quite simple really...its main content was basically what we all already knew, i.e: knowing and believing what you know is far more potent than just knowing.

Its basic concept is applicable on all levels of life and living.

'Nocebo' is latin for "i will harm"...guess it boils down to 'what i don't know wouldn't hurt me'

Here are the interesting bits:
-Ten years ago, researchers stumbled onto a striking finding: Women who believed that they were prone to heart disease were nearly four times as likely to die as women with similar risk factors who didn't hold such fatalistic views.

The higher risk of death, in other words, had nothing to with the usual heart disease culprits -- age, blood pressure, cholesterol, weight. Instead, it tracked closely with belief. Think sick, be sick.

-They are convinced that somethings going to go wrong and its a self-fulfilling prophecy.

-A study of aspirin and another blood thinner in heart patients and came up with an unexpected result that said little about the heart and much about the brain. At two locations, patients were warned of possible gastrointestinal problems, one of the most common side effects of repeated use of aspirin. At the other location, patients received no such caution.--> Those warned about the gastrointestinal problems were almost three times as likely to have the side effect. Though the evidence of actual stomach damage such as ulcers was the same for all three groups, those with the most information about the prospect of minor problems were the most likely to experience the pain.

Well...all that being said,today with the ever changing ethical standards,these 'nocebo' studies can't be conducted...thus making it a mere hypothesis...

I believe i was trying to make a point; the mind is indeed a powerful tool-it either makes you or breaks you.What you choose to believe in is what gets you ahead.
Knowledge or the lack of it is dangerous...physical effects and physically produced effects are 2 very different things.
Both of which make lives of medical practitioners very unpleasant.

p/s:i've decided on investing in a 'mamak',please support the local service industry.

Moments

This was something i received today from CJ...extremly sweet...and it brought back memories...
Mind you, everything she's written is TRUE...although,i dont actually RAG.
DR. Harikrishnan *shakes your hand.. followed by huggggggggles*

Whooaa. Memory Check Of Batch 2006 In Early Years:
1. Drunkards
2. Up To No Good
3. Full Of Mischief
4. Threatened To RAG Juniors
5. All Of The Above Listed At One Go

But Like The Saying "Wouldnt Be Who You Are Today If It Wasnt For Then" Right? :) CONGRATULATIONS!


We sent Ashish and Ritz off today...it just never seems enough,time that is...
When we have it around us,we tend to forget that its a tricky dimension.It secretly navigates our paths without us noticing.

We hung out at the TGI's in Sheremetyevo 2...whiling away time,waiting for the gate to open,had a couple of rounds...made a few toasts...talked about old times...made a pact.We are to meet up again in 6 yrs time...in Moscow.
Azie and I on the other hand are planning to come back in 2008.My family's graduating and so are a bunch of other interesting characters.Hehe.

Everyone teared, but I was fine...WAS...until they walked through the gate,the end has just begun.Damn.So i did a 360' and walked towards the exit,secretly hoping no one caught me doing that.Ashraff noticed,he walked over to me...gave me a comforting hug and nudge..."soon roshan...you'll see them"
Anyways...told both the cartoons that i'll see them WHEN i see them.No need for promises and expectations.Disappointment usually follows statements like these.

Ritz kept repeating our signature phrase:
First you'd have to get a victim,lets say syu...and make her ask you/him the time
Syu : Whats the time?
Ritz: Its time to have sex.
Me : Sex o' Clock!
(repeat till dirty irritated stares come from familiar faces)

Must admit, on their faces-i.e my nuclear group-they expected more-"This couldn't be the finale"...it was obvious,but nothing was said.Because we all knew,when we could have,we didn't.No one left to blame but ourselves.
Looks like 'Benching' will cease to exist(for the time being) or evolve into a luxury.
Dumb Charades...Monopoly...Poker Night-->left behind.

We took our mind off things-Went for TOKYO DRIFT.Wouldn't mind watching it again...
Well...
Cheers; to irreplacable friends and moments...
Corny or not; I love you guys...hope each one of you know that.

Graduation Day,22nd June 2006.

"Congratulations Graduates!"
I.M Sechenow Moscow Medical Academy
2006

...Spot the Malaysian Flag,so this was our back drop,which btw costed us 7080rubs, but the dean's off took it..farkers!







The world's shortest speech...2 minutes flat!
Was soo bloody nervous,didn't realise my robe wasn't aligned.Damn.Caught on camera!

Trust me,its not easy delivering a speech in Russian!









Yes, that my degree...and me...and the chancellor...and god knows who else!
















The reason behind my charmingly good looks are these two extremly wonderful people, whom i fondly call Pops and mums...



See this pic had to be taken coz papa felt left out due to the next snap...













mumsy!!!



(see...told you the earlier pic had to be taken!)









Its true isnt it...I'm quite the POYO...


(if u look beyond the 2 arabs...)










Hari, Ashish, Dipta and Ritz.

Drs...6 years flew...









Almost everyone...


Azie's missing, so is keong...and aaron...and...











Syu-syu...with the folks










We basically locked up the hall..and then left..

so this is us...after being out for almost 12 hours..

Tired...and Numb....


CONGRATS DOCTORS!!!

Folks and Moscow.

SO...the folks arrived and i swear, they were running on duracell...or energizer...
I was beat...but noooo...pops insisted on COFFEE-ing.

This was taken the day they arrived,infact we were en route to my place from the airport.






Dinner the next day...was with my family away from home, the meal was simply fantastic.

"Reena, you kids put me to shame,"-mum

This was right after dinner,she was impressed.

CJ's back, Reena,Folks and Melvyn.

Beekins and i were doing the dishes, ok he was doing the dishes while i snapped about.



The day after that while i was away@ one of those NATO meets...

Papa was bent on riding the metro, so he dragged mum along...she doesn't seem impressed does she?..hehehe...

Trust me...he's easily excitable...mmm...one other trait we commonly share. Cheers Pops.





Mum's new found 'kids'...*sigh*,give em half a chance she'd disown me and adopt them.

Well, i know for a fact Reens and Pops have this, 'bond'...something to do with pink lighters and spoonerizm.

uh?

"I couldn't have breakfast coz i was thinking of you...i didn't have lunch coz i was thinking of you...I did not have dinner coz i was thinking of you.....i could not sleep the night coz i was hungry"

Well, here's how the government makes up for the devaluation of the currency due to inflation-Charges foreign graduates unnecessarily for the legalization of documents. One trip to the dean's office costed me 700rubles...i heard there's more to come.
See...studying for 6 years doesn't guarentee you your degree...its the final payment that does.
Oh Bloody Hell...

Anyways, Syu's folks were around earlier, her sister prepared din din...Ritz was invited but that asswipe FFKed me and ran off somewhere to infuse himself w alco!
Well they leave tomorrow,and till then syu's kinda hindered from CELEBRATING...hehe.

We (syu,dmitry,Ashraff and i) are leaving for Zavidovo on sat, 4days away from the city....for fresh air.
mmm...4 days of Shooting,Riding,Swimming,BBQ-ing,Boozing,CHilling...(excellent way to spend the weekend).

Can't wait to see the bruises caused by the recoil of the shot gun on my shoulders...*grin*

Oh yes, Moscow's the world's most expensive city and for every 1000 rubles in an account, per annum the loss is about 100 rubles, inflation's about 6%.(the 6%'s my figure,will re-check)
Looks like my family away from home's gonna be suffering greatly.

Banana Pancakes

Can't you see that it's just rainin'
There ain't no need to go outside

But baby, you hardly even notice
When I try to show you
this song It's meant to keep you
From doin' what you're supposed to
Like wakin' up too early
Maybe we could sleep in
I'll make you banana pancakes
Pretend like it's the weekend now

And we could pretend it all the time
Can't you see that it's just rainin'
There ain't no need to go outside

But just maybe, like an ukulele
Mama made a baby
I really don't mind to practice
Because you're my little lady
Lady, lady love me
Because I love to lay here lazy
We could close the curtains
Pretend like there's no world outside
And we could pretend that all the time

Can't you see that it's just raining
There ain't no need to go outside

Rain all day and I don't mind

The telephone singing, ringing, it's too early
Don't pick it up
We don't need to
We got everything we need right here
And everything we need is enough
It's just so easy
When the whole world fits inside of your arms

Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm

We've got to wake up slow

...certainly how life should be lived, think my geriatric-ness is getting a little pronounced...

Don Quixote

There's no such thing as an amicable break-up, its basically a common misconception that anything heart wrecking could be deemed amicable or concordant.
Expectations aren't meant for the weak hearted.Too Bad.
Its obvious isn't it-Ritz and i finally did justice to uncle johnnie last night.

26th and 27th of june were trying dates.Un-bloody-believable.

June 22nd, Convocation.
Now, while most graduates felt some sort of emotion, i was numb...NUMB!
The whole concept about opening up a can of worms? yeah...it was just that, only difference was we were dealing with humans.
No doubt, i made a speech (extremly short and should've been sweet) , was totally pleased with the fact that the most important people in my life were there all the way, handled a rough spot with cash, was handed the fruits of my labour, and saw that 'thing' in the eyes of my parents...nothing in the world can beat that feeling.
SO, i've taken the hippocrates oath...fuck.
In about 18days i'll be back in Malaysia, and by then...i should know what i want to do.WHY?
Can't i just not have a plan?
The irony of the entire situation- before walking into 6th year,2nd sem...i had 2 plans with several back up plans-in short, i was SURE...too sure for my own good.
But right now...i'm clueless.
I'll just cross the bridge when i get to it.

Folks left, my family away from home left, several friends have left...under normal circumstances i would've loved this solitary moment. I love being left alone to my own devices. Something just doesn't feel quite right. Its like i know i've completed everything...but it just doesn't seem enough.
Solitaire.

Today's the first time in ages,i'm home...doing absolutely NOTHING.Yes, you are reading just right, i'm doing nothing...just bumming about.Oh, and i woke up way past lunch time. Right now contemplating which would qualify as appropriate time expenditure -
a)Coffee and Cigarettes for breakie, and then meet up with the guys for some grub and infuse ourselves with alco.
or,
b)Taking a shower, going for a walk and parking my ass in a cafe with a book, catch a movie at around1900hrs...and then meet the guys up for a COUPLE of drinks.

Either ways, alcohol's in the picture.

Went to the Bolshoi Theater last night with Syu's family to watch Don Quixote...good fun.Throughly entertaining. Great distraction-according to my mum.(so that i wouldn't notice that they've left...*huh?*)
oh well...Ballets rock.

Learnt a few things over the week.Being a grown up's tough...
I thought growing old was mandatory but growning up wasn't...i don't see anyone giving me a choice.
Being Dr.Viroshini Hari Krishnan's tough...being me is easy...

ok time to reload on some nicotine...and check if my folks have arrived.

Licensed to Kill

Its been 8 days since i've had a decent night's sleep. Totally worn out. I guess we've (azie and i) had a total of 14 hours of sleep excluding last night in 7 days. Hyposomnia at its best.

As of 14th June 2006, i'm licensed to kill and a bum, a very proud one that too.
Exams are over, soon my folks will be here and then its graduation day.
Time to say good bye.

Seems like everyone's more excited than me, had a whole battalion calling me Dr.Viroshini, suddenly the world came crashing...NO!!! hold your horses, not yet...actually- "i'm a bum who is licensed to kill"

In a month's time i'll be back in Malaysia, and soon Moscow will just be a 'distant past'.
I guess it all boils down to-> sense of belonging. Sadly, i've lost my sense of belonging in Malaysia. Maybe it has something to do with the duration i've been away or maybe the age at which i left the country. Maybe its just familiarity. All of which revolves around the most subtle dimension-time.

What do you get when you throw 9 seriously unfit trigger happy medical students onto a mock battle field equipped with guns?-Paintball!!! and lotsa casualties.
Had one of those never ending days yesterday. Finals-Paintball-Farewell Do. All of which require prior organization and TIME (lots of it).
The paper on its own was demanding, then came the running around for our convocation, after which we went paintballing and the guys at the hostel had organized one of those last-minute -parties which meant we HAD to be there. Left the house at 0700hrs and walked in at 0200hrs.

*stretch*

There was no way we could cancel paintball,coz the deposite had been paid and we promised ourselves that we'd do it the very day we become bums.
Unwind and celebrate our status->paintball.Nice.Only if you aren't sleep deprived, hungry and mentally exhausted.
Have enough bruises to convince 1-800-teledera...the major give away might be the shape and location of my bruises. There's one on my gluteus-thank you ashish.You Stooopid Facker!

Anyways the party was kinda like 'Revenge of the Nerds'.
We saw US, the US 6 years ago.While we were partying they were studying. The party was their way of saying, see...we know how to party too.
For the first time in my life i felt like a NERD. Everyone was dancing and drinking, basically just letting off some steam.
There i was, with a drink and a smile, underdressed and tired.Thankfully, i wasn't the only one feeling that way. Something tells me its the age.
Nevertheless, i had a fantastic time.

Well...growing old is mandatory but growing up's optional, and yet...

In a nutshell, i'm single, eligible, available and LICENSED to KILL...

p/s: forgot to mention-overworked, unpaid...and lack sleep.

Callous

Callous indifference to others.

Thats each one of us summed up in one sentence.

Anyways, there's a bug going around, i believe more and more are being infected everyday, the bug however has an expiry date: July 9th 2006.
Common symptoms:Lack of sleep, money and manners.

I've got natural immunization towards this bug-my manners and sleep are not affected by it, but my money keeps talking to me, funnily it only says "bye bye!"

There's a match between brazil and croatia tonight and i've put my money on croatia, just because.
Especially liked the way everyone got excited when i said i'm putting my money on croatia, everyone wanted to place bets with me and they didn't even mind giving me a 1/2 goal lead.
Thats probably because i DON'T watch footie...really. Odd huh?
And...the adrenaline rush from supporting underdogs is unbelievable.

The thing about gambling- it alters your personality without you realizing. Same as the effects of alcohol, only difference-you are sober while doing one of it! (damn i'm funny!)
The point i was getting to was, i may seem stupid gambling on insignificant things, but my mind set while i do it is different compared to some people i know. Well, the moment i place a bet, i've mentally written off the money-so that i don't obsess over my losses, and if i do win-it comes as a bonus.
It should never go beyond a 'fun' thing. Never let it rule your life.I guess its the same for everything around us.Moderation.

Here's one- A fool and his money are soon partying!

Recently found out that USA, wanted FIFA to ban Iran from playing, why?-Because they possess 'Nuclear Weapons'. You've gotta be seriously dim, shallow, illiterate and American to say something like that. Cheers to IQs lower than the size of an Ameoba.
(no pun intended to those who think otherwise)

Well, tomorrow's my final paper and here i am making an entry.
Haven't slept much and have been dealing with idiosyncrasy.
Today was classic though- Dean's office wants to deal with Patil. Poor kid. I saw him with a shovel...he has dug soo deep he's 12 feet under.
Why?-The Piss Faced Rat, fucked him over.
See what happens when you sign a contract with no witnesses?That too for a huge sum?

Here's the song of the week: Frankie boy's Girl from Ipanema. Cheers Bee Kins.

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, each one she passes goes...ah

When she walks, shes like a samba
That swings so cool and sways so gentle
That when she passes, each one she passes goes...ooh

Ooh but I watch her so sadly
How can I tell her I love her
Yes I would give my heart gladly
But each day, when she walks to the sea
She looks straight ahead, not at me

Tall, and tan, and young, and lovely
The girl from ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, I smile - but she doesnt see
she just doesnt see, she never sees me,...

Chemical Romance

Today's paper, in dee's words was the hardest she has ever had to sit for, morally that is... Well one down, one more to go. The next one's going to be a major pain. Everything you've learnt in the past 6 years summerized on one single question paper. Interesting. My alter ego, General Batista has been able to keep certain 'uneducated guerillas' at bay. Mistake numero uno- Sign a contract worth 250,000rubles without a witness or prior authorization. Excellent, he thought the stunt he pulled would shut all of us up, we are now bound legally... No, you assumed we'd fall for it. Au contraire, that was your downfall. See, in pool you think 2 steps ahead...always. This imbecile clearly doesn't play pool, too bad for him, i do! (not like i have a game plan or anything, sometimes playing really clean comes with advantages) The World Cup officially starts tomorrow, as usual, i'm with Germany and yes i am placing bets. Very daring, but tradition's tradition. Their prognosis isn't good. Fine by me. Haven't slept, soon i'll start ranting. Theme song for the week- Give em hell kid, My Chemical Romance. Oh baby here comes the sound! I took a train outta New Orleans and they shot me full of ephedrine. This is how we like to do it in the murder scene. Can we settle up the score? If you were here I'd never have a fear. So go on live your life. But I miss you more than I did yesterday. You're beautiful! Well I'm a total wreck and almost every day. Like the firing squad or the mess you made. Well don't I look pretty walking down the street. In the best damn dress I own? Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say We are young and we don't care. Your dreams and your hopeless hair. We never wanted it to be this way. For all our lives. Do you care at all? If you were here I'd never have a fear. So go on live your life. But I miss you more than I did yesterday. You're so far away. So c'mon show me how. 'Cause I mean this more than words can ever say.

W

Panthera Tigris altaica

5 days have lapsed since i last blogged...

In the mean time, i managed to -get absolutely hammered(the kind where you are beyond help and make a fool of yourself-bad bad!),get my oncology credit, become the next General Batista, murder my phone, memorize the entire russian keyboard (not easy when your head's filled with qwerty), bounty hunt.

In about 2hours and 15mins, the first part of my finals start. While the whole world slept, i was around here figuring out why is Vladivostok soo goddamn important!...
Until yesterday, it only was related to the 'trans-siberian railroad', but as of now, they have officially finished the very paper i'll be sitting for in a couple of hours.Suddenly this place is the capital of 'medical students with answers'.

Anyways, moving on to more productive things in life, i've got my old sim back, almost done with Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita and i'm one step away from entering the REAL world...

Found out that a 2nd petition has been drafted...everyone's Fidel-Fucking-Castro and i'm Batista...
Its not as if any of those Fidel wannabes know anything about guerilla warfare...but then again i believe in giving someone the benefit of the doubt.Who knows, they might have things their way...

Talking about guerilla warfare, in one of my recent conversations with CJ and Reena, i informed them that i had written in to a 'relief society' that works in Sri Lanka, availing myself for medical assistance.
They asked me questions for which i didn't have answers...
'Is it a relief group or the tamil tigers?'
'Relief group'
'Funded by?'
'I don't know'
From here CJ took over, 'its very noble V,but seriously think about it...you sure you wanna go into jungles? Work first, think of yourself and then help others when you really can'
'20 years from now the world would've passed you by, and it would be too late'

All this serious talk never lasts long around CJ and REENA, because guerilla warfare then became 'pat poh warfare'.
Really fun when you get stuck in the middle...watch them have a go at each other.
Btw, CJ speaks better tamil than me.Which is bad, how can one not know his/her own roots?
Another goal to achieve then.

Well, i shall go reload on some nicotine...think i'm getting cold feet. Lets hope i pull through this paper people.

p/s: its not the tigers (i think)

Complete

Just got off the phone with a whole bunch of people ranging from Reena,to me ma then my cousin and dipta...

Having a swell day, feeling all dandy and lightheaded.

Dee thinks Azie and i are going into our 'hibernation' mood, wake up early enough to have breakkie and lunch, laze around until bed time and sleep through till the next day.Or maybe we are suffering from 'post-tertiary education trauma'.Seriously who wouldn't, when everyone around us are like 'oh my god we are soooo proud of you!!' or 'my my,so you guys are doctors now, you deserve a break after your tough journey of 6 years'.
The 'post-tertiary education trauma' sets in when 'GUILT', a little fucker, shows up everytime someone makes a statement in awe.Guilt is unbelievably hard to deal with albeit common.
WHY- quite simple really, we know what we went through and it really doesn't deserve so much of hype.
I don't deny that we've been through difficult situations but seriously, the hype needn't be all that much.

Talking to Dee reminded me of all the things we can't do anymore- we can't play dumb charades in class no more, we don't have smoke breaks, we don't have another lecture to sleep in, no more mass bunking, we can't curse teachers or cheat during exams. We can't disturb Aaron Yim. We can't drink during lectures. Can't attend lectures drunk. Can't write dumb notes to each other.
It feels soo somber.
People, please cherish every waking moment you have left in Uni, even the bad becomes a joke ...a couple of years down the line.

Talking about graduation and such, i've been given a variety of things to choose from as gifts.
I've got Vegemite on one hand and a cellphone on another.
I'd definitely go with the vegemite, as for the cellphone, i'm yet to decide...but if anyones really interested, i love watches-brands i'm partial to- Swiss Army, Patek Phillippe, Tag Heuer, Breitling, Baume& Mercier.
But when i'm rooted to the ground, i'd realize i can't afford anything more than a Tissot.
*inaudible cursing*

Today's thought: Measure of success.

How do you measure success? We accept that its subjective and every individual has different goals and needs.

But seriously, if we took a second to think about it, we'd understand that it means nothing if we don't feel complete. This however, is my opinion. I believe this is how i'd measure success.
Lets take a hypothetical situation,lets say we focus too much on something and we are bound to neglect some people/somethings along the way.
One fine day, we'd wake up having everything around us, i.e the dream job and paycheque, the dream car, the perfect house and lets say every damn 'perfect/dream' materialistic acquisition.
Who would we be sharing those 'perfect' things with?
These 'markers' of success would be deemed void if, there wasn't anyone to share it with. It could be anyone-family, friend(s), a significant other.
Some of us know what we want but don't know how to get it. As we go along, we'd learn. Finally, we'd get it.

Success is an end result of pursuing a dream.
Nothing beats being able to share a dream. Having someone with whom you could share your dreams with is a luxury not many people appreciate. This someone could be anyone in your life.

This in turn completes you. You know at the end of the day, there's someone walking the path with you, holding you up and never judging you from your failed attempts.
That itself is success in its own rights.

Bottomline -guess all i was trying to say was, being ambitious, dreaming big and getting there is half the battle, the other half is sharing it and keeping what you already have. It would all mean nothing, if we ourselves don't feel complete.

right...

As of today, 31st of May 2006 the class of 2006' i.e: a whole bunch of cartoons and me are no longer medical students ; neither are we graduates...

It started off as any other would've...any other 'zachot' day that is...
Had our final 'zachot', which is actually a 'Professorsky Zachot' and everyone was shitting bricks, of course yours truly wasn't fazed. I basically went in blank, watched everyone freak out and got called in as the first 'foreigner' (when your student card no's A001/00, you don't have a choice). Waffled my way through, got a 5 came out looking like i failed-because this would in turn mean i'd never EVER attend another class with the same bunch of people again(the aforementioned cartoons), and hit the 'park' for beers at 11am!- TO CELEBRATE!

Then...
Aaron Yim drank!!!...thats something allright, he was red by the 2nd sip, totally happy...and even made business deals with me...excellent, should get him hammered more often.

And reality hit me hard, my journey of 6 and a half years has come to an end.
Through these years, we've nurtured relationships of all sorts, learnt a hell lot, built a fort and gotten comfy with our respective positions in society.
Some of us feel its about time all of these stop, some of us feel why stop when we can change them for the better?
Nothing's perfect, widely known fact- same as all relationships- most of them are 90% 'perfect' but its the remaining 10% that make us stray and ruin whats already sturdy and amicable. Because, we are never satisfied.
Being over-protective is another instinct we develope when left in situations like this, we think
we are doing the right thing but we draw that conclusion without consulting with the parties involved. Why?-Familiarity.
There was a time when we'd fight the world together, today we've stooped soo low, that we've decided to fight with each other.
This, i can't quite rationalize.
As i said before, we don't change, we just become more of who we are. At this point of time, i may disappoint you, but that might be because you've classified me in a category where i don't belong. Think about it, remove the label...keep an open mind and i might surprise you.
Trust me on that one.
I have no regrets looking back, there are however things i'm not proud of, but hey how else would i learn if not the hard, more exciting and taboo way?
Everyone around me today have left a mark in my life, and have been and hopefully will always provide the colours for my life story.(some technicolor presentation there)

Well, to conclude this very distorted post, i guess...i don't know, never been a whizz with words.
But you get it right?

Providence

How do we handle bad days?

See i've got this play list on the ipod 'me, myself and i'- all the songs that keep me rooted/sane/going and another called 'self-gratification'-ok that just speaks for itself.*shit*

If i've had a bad day, i'd just recline and let the music take over...suddenly everything would seem insignificant and trivial.

Anyway, today wasn't a bad day all together, actually...it was quite nice.

The NATOs met up today, to finally confirm who's getting the contract.
Here goes, victory wasn't ours...Patil has got it.
For some funny reason he hasn't got the guts to call me personally, he asked Ritz to find out the outcome of the meeting...mmm...
It was quite simple handling an invertebrate actually:

"i believe you are serving wine?...with indian food?...which wine?"
"....french wine, our stock JUUSSSTTT came in"
"its called?"
"ahh...i don't know what its called...can i call you back?"

He hasn't called back...aiy...wanna lie also lie laaa properly...involved in the service industry but dunno how to lie, stupid fuck!

Well, the highlight of the day was Din din with Syu, she's been craving sushi and i've been stalling...it was nice, i think i earned brownie points earlier...*chuckling*
When she saw it, she actually couldn't believe it was for NOTHING...am i that conniving?
Yes, the small things make a great difference.
They say, i've got an abnormal talent for scoring brownie points and losing them all the moment i earn em.

Been thinking of a few things-which is harder? not being a stranger or keeping in touch?
of course this then has to be divided into platonic and intimate relationships...
I guess for me personally keeping in touch has been easy, for its superficial.
Not being a stranger, would require effort...and time...COMFORT.
Been conducting a research, i only asked 3 people but that qualifies as research in my books.
I got different answers:
1)Keeping in touch would mean having hope ; not being a stranger needs time.
2)Keeping in touch is fine, but even if you can't, you shouldn't be a stranger for everything we've shared.
3)For me both is difficult, but i guess keeping in touch is less demanding on both parties.

Of late, i've been pulling studies out of my A**, and i know thats cheating, but seriously spices up conversations,right?

Here's the other thing thats been bugging me-Freedom, i've got it in my hands and yet i'm afraid, why?...
Freedom here would be in reference to 'freedom of choice', more like where do i go from here?
Its all in my hands, what if i fuck up?
(yes please don't say thats the only way to learn)

OK i just got a call, Dee's inviting me over for smoothies...its a banana+mango+strawberries smoothie...

Later then...

So...

This is how i spent the last sunday of the month, acoording to Reena, i'm only here to move the couch.
According to Myself...i'm...just here...

Yea so thats how CJ looks when the camera excites her...
Me often wonders, how small things makes great difference to one's 'dork' like portrayal.

Just for the record CJ, you can't speak cantonese with an indian accent and then mock me for my handicapped tamil!








Top anats exam on the 31st of May, bee kins is busy playing 'the god father'...

In his defence, he was taking a break...








Someones busy preparing dinner, ginger chicken.
And...it was a lovely view from where i was sitting...

Some peeling action there...one of those 'GOLEN' moments






Right, this was the reason the camera came out in the first place...to record history in the making.
CJ/REENA/BEE KINS' study room cum kitchen.
It was a good sunday...obviously i gave no input when it came to translation, and i ruined the atmosphere...but, hey i was a welcomed break wasn't i?...guys?

P/s: CJ's only pretending to study because the camera came out.

Never Talk to Strangers

A :If there is no God, then who, one wonders, rules the life of man and keeps the world in order?

B :Man rules himself

A :I beg your pardon; but to rule one must have a precise plan worked out for some reasonable period ahead. Allow me to enquire how man can control his own affairs when he is not only incapable of compiling a plan for some laughably short term, such as, say, a thousand years, but cannot even predict what will happen to him tomorrow? In fact, imagine what would happen if you, for instance, were to start organising others and yourself, and you developed a taste for it-then suddenly you get...a heart attack... *cat like grin*

A :Yes, a heart attack! And then thats the end of you as an organiser! No one's fate except your own interests you any longer. Your relations start lying to you. Sensing that something's amiss you rush to a specialist, then to a charlatan, even perhaps a fortune-teller. Each of them is as useless as the other, as you know perfectly well. And it all ends in tragedy; the man who thought he was in charge is suddenly reduced to lying prone and motionless in a wooden box and his fellow men, realising that there is no more sense to be had of him, incinerate him.

Fate's a cheeky bastard. *sigh*

Faust

Say at last-who art thou? 'That power i serve, Which wills forever evil, Yet does forever good' GOETHE-Faust

and then?

We dread certain situations because we almost certainly know this is the point where the good, bad and ugly gets flushed out. Last night was one of those. Initially, i was planning on absorbing some culture, borrowed Syu's Bulgakov. That didn't materialize as i played a prank on her about the lingerie party. Which i shouldn't have- being all 'partied' up isn't a good thing when there REALLY isn't gonna be a party! Well, we then decided on having some wine...then thought of topping it up with strawberries...and finally asking some friends to join in (we were sure that none would show up). But Hari showed up...which was surprising. For many reasons. Ritz had to layan some guests who had just arrived from India and he had to wait till they went to bed. Dipta was at a club with 'white people'...(identity crisis) "clubbing with white people...is rather odd" "dee, you do realise you are 'white'" "no...ok i mean...i'm just saying its soo different from clubbing with you guys.In a good way"

Both hari and ritz aren't wine drinkers, syu and i invested a huge sum on our wine- Chablis...thats a really good wine, the kind that doesn't leave you with a headache or a hangover. The high is beautiful and you can keep drinking...all night. We had a bottle each, the guys were surprised, they didn't think we could both down a bottle each and still be sober...ok semi high and totally jolly. And i parted company with my bottle of JD to Hari and Ritz.Dear JD, it was good while it lasted...hahahaha.

Things were good and everyone went down memory lane...and then we moved on to sex and then some bedroom secrets (bad move). When i'm in the company of the right kind, i engage/ crack lame jokes/ get all hyper, When the company i have is unappealing, i don't talk. Infact i just observe. Which is what i was doing last night, Until...

Hari said something uncalled for, offensive, judgemental, shallow and totally inappropriate.

"you know, when you have anal sex and the woman enjoys it, you just know that she's a slut"

How dare you?...seriously...

To which i countered:

"what does that say about the person she's having it with?,you have no right to judge anyone in the bedroom, if your partner shares his/her fantasies with you and wants you to be a part of it, you should be honoured. That just shows that he/she is comfortable enough with you...its all about trust and comfort. You've got to remember that she's making herself vulnarable by letting you in on it.Infact you shouldn't discuss this with anyone but her...honestly hari, that is just shallow man"

A slut?...What year are we in? 1450?

SO i made a bitch statement about why is it sex is better with NON-ASIAN men. Didn't realise i check-mated myself.

Fuck...Everyone got excited

"i disagree,but do tell...come on..."-Hari

"Hari how can you disagree unless you've had sex with men?"-Me

"VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV!!!"-Syu

"And she finally speaks..."-Ritz

SO i didn't elaborate further, just excused myself and headed to the bathroom.Tried navigating the conversation to more friendly pastures after i got back.Worked.

Well, yes there are certain things people don't know about me, no matter how close or long we know each other. Syu seemed keen (she's got that smirk), she bugged me this morning about my statement.Yes love you are my best friend. It just wasn't important enough to be mentioned.It carries no weight at this point of time.Its left behind in a different dimension.

TO all you very curious people, my past isn't as colourful as you'd want it to be. I'm not secretive, its just unimportant.

Borders...i love em. Shields, even better.

p/s: Psychs, Chablis and strawberries?

48Hours

The past 48 hours have been very laidback. Just the way i'd like life to be.

Got my hair cut, although i wanted something sharper...nah,this is fine for now, a day before my convocation i shall go get the Mohawk done. (the above pic is NOT it)

Haven't been to class, which isn't a good thing...but doesn't feel wrong.
Been unwinding. (not like i'm wound up or something, but its just one of those things that occur without much thought)
So much so,everyone who has spoken to me in the past few hours think i'm high on something.
Maybe its got to do with the fact that i didn't endure any form of non-intelligence.Today.
Or the fact that i 'spring-cleaned' my room...its spotless btw...

Have been talking to my parents a lot these few days, very happy for them-as my dad puts it
"its nothing big,but its an achievement all the same"

That reminds me, i have a cleft on my chin, now thats an inherited trait, as in one or both of the parents should have it ;neither my mum or dad have it.*deep in thought*-Ok CJ don't try my joke on me! "find out who the neighbour was at that time!!"
Ma thinks i need to chill out...Papa thinks i'm super cool, oh and i've inherited his lazy gene.Me thinks his sense of humor as well...One Hung Low and all.

Am suppose to be organizing a lingerie (pronounced as: LING-GER-RII) party at this moment, but looks like thats not happening eh?
My boss, SYU, wants everything done ASAP, you know sometimes i feel like an ALL-IN-ONE shampoo/instant mix.
I'm her slave, event manager, phone book, directory, friend, confidante', heart ache, head ache, cigarrette. God Knows what else.
Well Boo, here's an update:
Ritzy can't make it-coz he doesn't own any, and Reena's not planning on wearing any...that leaves me with my boxers-not very turning on, but hey at least i tried!

Its has been brought to my attention that, as an avid reader, i don't seem to be paying attention to the core meaning of the book i'm reading.I've had some helpful suggestions though-Glasses.
I think i look very nice/intellectual in glasses and i could also prove that statement valid: Refer to the attached PICTURE.

But, if i may, i don't think its related to my vision but it seems to be more of a language barrier.
Maybe i'm not translating the book i read correctly. Maybe its dependant on the state of my mind? Or does it suggest expectations?...

Note to author: Don't worry, i have no expectations-With great expectations come great disappointments.

Let me be the judge of the book i read.I like reviews, but thats just one man's opinion.
Everyone says Dan Brown's good, i say Only 2 books of his are good, the rest need help!
And then some say Tash Aw's terrible, i say he's book was a wonderful read.
Its all a matter of opinion and for now, let me make it clear that i refrain from being judgemental- for i find it pointless.
Allow me to savour my book, Please?

Yesterday was exciting though- CJ Reens and BeeKins were at Friday's celebrating CJ's 'DEBTLESS' Status. I on the other hand was stuck in traffic, during which time they managed to infuse enough alco to be a lil on the euphoric side of life.
SO, imagine walking into a packed restaurant, and the moment you are spotted they break out into a song:
"Who's that girl...Na-na-na-na-na-na...V's! that girl!" (repeat till you notice the dirty looks coming from neighbouring tables)

Then, to spice up the song- "oh my god!!!...her hair's sooo adorable!!!" (say the whole sentence with a slur)

They demanded on knowing ALL about my day, but funnily, they did all the talking.
No seriously, they were soo cute. Seeing them made my day.
Beekins on the other hand waited for his 'KUPPE' partner to start drinking, we had lynchburg lemonades. Came home super sober-thats because we only had one drink.
It was of course an excellent day. Like today.

I've got to be studying Oncology now, non-hodgkin's lymphoma. Lets nourish ourselves with some hyperplasia action shall we?

Benching

Good day, or so i'd like to think.

We had our photo shoot for the graduation album today, the entire dean's office was buzzing with a certain sin familiarly known as VANITY.
Most of em dressed in their best, and then a minority that doesn't dress for anything...

We were the minority...

'Weih, kumpulan kita pakai macam gangster!'
That was Hari, when he noticed we were the only ones who didn't dress up.

Well, introductions, from left: Ashish, Aaron, Hari, Ritz, Keong,Tina,Dipta,Syu and ME!
Piggy, unfortunately was behind the camera...sorry Azie.

Long day, Class-Photo Shoot-Meeting-More Shooting-Cancelled appointments-DinDin w Syu-Failed attempt at watching da vinci's code- Beer+Benching with Ritz and finally here.

Photo Shoot was fun, lotsa poyo-ness, and meeting kinda confrontational- almost had a major fight with a committee member-Pharma Rep, he basically accused me of god knows what and i lost it...in a very dumb way...Syu and Azie had to salvage the bloody situation.
After which they told me 'You lost it and handled it like an idiot!'

Well on a lighter note, after din din, i met up with the rest and we hauled ourselves to the cinema, with the confidence that no one watches movies on tuesday nights (@2230hrs), Just to be told that tickets are SOLD-FUCKING-OUT! Disappointed, we came home.

Benching was fun (as usual), we decided that since in our respective countries there's no one word to describe the usage of 'Zdrastvuite', we'd have to create our own.
We also realised that all the chicks are with pot/beer bellied older men, men with fat wallets...yes Psychs go ahead and lash out at me.Bring it on.
Was suppose to get a hair cut, me thinks anxiousness has driven me to this, was initially thinking of a Mohawk, but realised 2 weeks is not enough to rectify a problem of that magnitude. (2 weeks till my parents arrive)
So settled on short hair with lotsa locks.
And Ritzy realized we don't have many Uncle johnnie weekends left, and as true benchers we should make the best of the time we have.
Benching's another buffer of mine...and its exclusive...its a special bond Ritz and I have, occasional guests are allowed, but its not open for new memberships. Its a sacred chilling out ritual.

Azie on the other hand, reminded us that by the end of this month we are officially not medical students and neither are we doctors. We are in LIMBO...
That reminds me, din din was damn yums- Veal in Marsala Sauce- Fucking awesome.

Gonna get some shut eye now.

Till the next time wasting blog.

Color blind

We are what we repeatedly do. -Aristotle

That would in turn imply that i'm a procastinator who takes things for granted, intentionally oblivious to my surroundings and supremely selfish.

today's 'distorted-chain-of-thoughts' day.

"Why don't you show me the little bit of spine.You've been saving for his mattress.
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me."

There you go, another perplexing thought. No well, i'm not all that shallow, its from a song.
Here's the thing, in my opinion sympathy/pity are the worst kind of emotion/s one can have for another.
Naturally, if its rephrased into 'mercy sex' then its acceptable. (more shallow thoughts)
Hang on, let me level with myself here.

Ok...I'm back at square one.

I started out with something logical like aristotle and ended up with fall out boy, wait that is logical.

I just realised something odd, my friends have soo much faith in me that, the moment someone's talking to me and taking my number down (or me theirs), they are of the impression that i flirted my way there. And almost always i get told on. *sigh*
But, i've got excellent back up- Bee Kins! he sits there and smiles like its no biggie. And when asked to back me up, he pretends he's lost!

Have been giving a few things some serious thought. (rare?)
I'm a month away from my convocation, 2 from going back home,3 from attending my interview,4 from kicking-off working life, 5 from starting a savings account, 6 from starting birthday and new year plans!!

I've got my priorities sorted haven't i? *patting myself on the shoulders*

Read all of the above...
See what i mean by 'i'm a procastinator'?

There are a few things in life you should hold on to, no matter how tough the going gets.They would be different things for different people, and the meaning it carries is different as well.
Depending on what we need to keep ourselves going, we'd make our choices.

For most of us, achieving something would almost always include sacrifices.
Some of us allow ourselves to be misled; driven by selfishness, we'd make the wrong sacrifices.
Its all very humane, no arguments there, but the question is, how FAR will you go?

The only sacrifice i've had to make to achieve something is waking up earlier so that i'd get to run before class. (not very impressive eh?)
Wait, there was this one time, i HAD to sacrifice watching a movie to catch up on study time. (ma's orders!)

Of late, i've noticed(probably because i'm ignorant), we'd go all out to get what we want.-disregarding the potential damage.
Maybe its because, people don't change but they just become more of who they are.
Over time, you'd learn things/traits of the other...and you'd reach a point and ask yourself, "do i know this person anymore?"

Then again we'd have to take into account that while this other was evolving, we morphed as well. We too became more of who we are...and chances are this other is asking the same questions.

Conclusion: Having blogger's block. A friend of mine once told me "do not believe everything you read"

Disclaimer: Do not believe everything you read.

Battle without Honour

Alone time...something unheard of.

Its true what they say, there should be honour among thiefs.I read a book of the same title while i was still in school.About stealing the constitution or something. Good read.

Alls fair in love and in war...

Being a power player is fun, it also comes with excess baggage in the form of guilt and a sense of responsibility. Thats if you have a conscience.

There are those who play by the rules and win, and there are those who choose to not play by the rules and win...then there are those who win by technicality and manipulation. There are those who win because they have a fantastic combination of all of the above.

Reena has a simple concept regarding honour among thiefs, 'Thief A can steal from Peter to feed Paul, but thief A cannot steal from thief B to feed anyone, this fucks up the cycle.'

But i believe in stealing from the rich and giving the needy...muahahaha..kidding,really.

When you execute an action of severe implications, the repercussions shouldn't come as surprises, i.e: calculated risks.
The only reason you wouldn't crumble is because you had enough faith.
Newton wasn't high on pot when he said every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

The AGM was for a total of 45mins and the Q&A was for an hour...*waste of time*
We didn't have our friendly match against M2- cause and effect-Q&A took up all the play time.
Shitted.

I was surrounded by idiots, not funny.

"How come we (M2) weren't informed about the charity dinner?"
"We did make announcements, via 3 newspapers and over national radio"
"Newspapers?...why weren't we told about it?"
"errmm...you don't read newspapers during summer holls?"

WTF?...seriously, i don't know how these people are doing medicine...Sad.
Gets better...next idiot takes the effort to ask:
"please make us understand, was this announcement made before or after the dinner?"

...seriously, WTF?...just laughed my head off.

Naturally, M1 had no questions to ask...they are real newts, tell them to come cast their votes and attend the AGM, the only question they had was.
"are they serving refreshments?"

Good combination, one side that doesn't give a fuck and the other side that wants to give a fuck but doesn't know how to.

There was no bloodshed unfortunately. I'm secretly disappointed.
Thats fine, sooner or later something's going to come up and some form of assult will take place.

When will the battle without honour end?...ah yes, only good things come to an end. (my bad)

Quicksand

Another week has passed ; did no justice to my saturday i.e: didn't watch Da Vinci's code...

Did nothing 'productive/constructive'. Its decided then, thats my forte.

However i did what i had to do. Reena's calling both bee kins and i, dirty twisted strategists.
Few things that did justice to my mind :
Cerebral orgasms with the usual suspects...Still figuring out how to diffuse bombs and such.
Thursday-Coffee Mania with Azie and Syu.
Friday-Cafe' Latte' with Bee Kins and Reena.
Saturday- Mi casa with me myself and i, psychs came in towards the end.
Been thinking about mice and men.
Finally, studying quicksands.

Quicksand...
The more you wriggle, the faster you get pulled in.
Don't fight it, stay still...till someone gets you, if no one does; just wriggle and reduce torture time-chances are they'll never find you. Or you can keep still, and suffer stiff muscles and then hunger followed by cold and then pain...and finally rot to death.

OK i didn't have to be all that graphic now did i?

Was just thinking about how we get roped into things we don't intend to do, and the more we fight it, we get sucked into it further and before we know it, we've got one foot in the septic tank and the other in a puddle of mud...or up someone's ass (depending on how we handle situations)

Sunday's going to be exciting, i forsee bloodshed and mass collection of unbelievable stupidity.
-MMSA Elections
Its also going to be fulfilling.-Friendly Futsal matches...
When prav called to inform me of the elections, all i said was 'hmm', hoping to change my mind he said its also the AGM, i again said 'hmm', he finally said 'we're also having futsal...' to which i said 'i'll be there!' (no one's surprise right?)

Anyways let me leave you with the song of the week: For old time's sake.

"Mr Brightside"

I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

And I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

Reens baby, bee kins and i are Mr.Brightsides aren't we?

Coffee Mania

Thats 'erdinger dunkel', super yumss black beer.
Yes thats true, i've quit drinking professionally.
These days i just fleece off some people who claim it tastes like 'sarsi'...

No actually, i felt like lattes...didn't feel like alco-ing myself.

This is @2200hrs, there's still a lil bit of light...






The verandah@coffee mania-look for 3 irritating 'tourists' at the extreme right...

Trust me, don't waste your time squinting, you can't see us...

Notice how everyone's got a blankie?...yes it was windy...






Looks ARE deceiving, we look like normal students having a very innocent 'housemates night out'...

A combination of these 3 people- synonymous with TROUBLE...

Ask the waiter...







As the night started...the utter joy of creating mischeif is displayed on both their faces...

I seriously am wondering what were they thinking about...










I seem to be very fascinated by what Syu had to say, and i have no idea when this pic was taken...

















By the end of the evening this is how Azie and i looked...(even after certain exciting calls)

Satisfied with our respective 'highs'

Hers-cheese cake

Mine- Latte'



...And Syu, like this.

As they say a picture speaks a thousand words.

Its obvious, we had a pretty good time.
Right sayang? *evil grin*

Things i'm going to miss: Depicted in the above pics.
The verandahs during spring, summer and autumn...
Having a beer while the sun sets in the background...
Just chilling out...

Apology accepted.

Thought about it real hard and long.

When was the last time we apologized to ourselves?
Wait a sec, i don't know many people who've even forgiven themselves for past mistakes.
Think about it, to move forward you'd have to leave the past behind which means you'd not only have to own up to your mistakes but also forgive yourself for it.

Stepping stones; Learning curves.

I owe myself an apology, for compromising and bending my own principles. I was a major hypocrite to myself, no this time it wasn't self preservation...it was plain selfish.
Its true i do have high (read: unrealistic/idealistic) expectations (btw, thats according to reens so pls refer to her for further enlightenment), but if i didn't have them i wouldn't be who i am today.

This was Syu to me:
"You surprise me, its not your kind of thing. You'd be the last person i could think of getting involved in such a thing,"
"Yes i'm aware of that, not very proud of it either and i'm sorry for letting you down."
"You don't owe anyone but yourself an apology."

The reason for that conversation is irrelevant at the moment.

According to her, i'm a combination of a punching bag and a frying pan. *blur*
Great! now being cryptic is in fashion.

Anyways found out what it means:

Like a punching bag, i receive blows from all directions and yet at the end i'm standing up right and no one knows the damage thats on the inside. Frying pan; i take time to blow my top i.e: my anger is not without reason but at the same time i cool off pretty fast.


I haven't spoken to my significant other since god knows when...i believe she called while i was out...yes baby, i miss you too...

Ok now comes dealing with the hard part-Forgive myself (i think i've achieved that already), and figure out who's been flooding my inbox with anonymous comments.

Bastardizing...

Bastardization : An act of debasing the quality of something. In layman's terms it would mean to ruin the actual meaning/ function of something.

We all bastardize things/emotions/people on a regular basis. Its second nature to us. Thats just because we claim to be human. Its sad though, we blame everything on our race- The Human Race.

The act to turning a student body into a political party is called bastardization. Its sounds like hard work, its not. All you need are humans with inferior development and you've got a perfect political cocktail- Best consumed shaken not stirred.-At least you'd get the taste of the best bits.

Last night was quite awesome, the event manager called Abed to rectify the price debate and, guess what??...we have to pay them $3000...
He calls me back to tell me : *slight chuckling* "so i see you've spoken to Nikolai, and he says we have to pay. I don't know what you are up to, but i want my cut-OK?"

I obviously was in high spirits, just laughed my guts off and said "yes"...*sigh*
If only he knew that we REALLY have to pay...Seriously, do i send out wrong signals?
I've been approached by 2 Jehovah's witnesses wanting to rescue me...and i've got a colleague who thinks i'm trying to swindle the committee...
DAMN...i'm too obvious aren't i?

Or is it the bastardization of my very being?

Taurus Excreta!!!

"AAAAAAAAAAaaaarrrrrrrrrrrGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

Thats the consequence of not being a very violent or verbal person, Pent-up anger for which the catalyst was stupidity.
Thought a few quiet moments with my favourite symphony would do the trick but no, it didn't.

I secretly wish i was a sniper, i bet after all those times playing CS i should be some good right?
Hit List:
1) Renad Nikolaivich, Alyautdin.
2) Serger Alexevich, Baranov
3) Gaurav Patil.

Patil has the balls to call me at 0030hrs on saturday to tell me he is entertaining the committee
members at his restaurant-just to secure the contract. Asked him what was the need to inform me.
He :well you gave me the opening, and its just right to inform you.
Me: mmm...and?
He: Please just support me on this matter, i am getting the support of the arabs and am going to send Baranov some samples.
Me: Why?
He: To show him i can provide good service at cheaper price.
Me: I see...
He: So if the entire committee agrees and so does Baranov, will you still give the contract to the other caterers? Will you change your decision?
Me: Well, if the entire committee wants you, there's nothing i can do. I will have to change my decision. In that way, the entire lot can be responsible for anything that goes wrong. For the record, you did all this behind my back even after explaining to you, so i don't see any reason as to why we are even having this conversation.
He: i need your support, and you know me personally.What is the problem?Price?
Me: You have enough support...don't worry. If you feel the need to represent your restaurant, by all means go ahead.No its not the money.

And that happened even today...same conversation...i just grunted more. He kept trying to make peace. Looks like i'll have to get a restraining order against him.
That whole episode is just fucking subordinate, bloody hell!
Seriously what the fuck?...

And then you've got the bloody SOBs who don't do shit, but are of the opinion they are contributing a hell lot. Alyautdin should just shut his gap when its not his money.Motherfucker.

Just as how its stated in Murphy's Law- Just when you think things can't get any worse, it gets even worse!
After work Abed calls to inform me that the agency called to tell him there's no need to pay them the $3000.
I then told him we have to, just that the person who has been talking to him doesn't know the situation. He then throws something unexpected:
"Tell me honestly, do you want the money for yourself?"
"what?"
"you've been pushing for the payment, is that money going into your pocket?"
"yes it is...you know what?i'll call you after talking to the sponsor"
"please do that, i just need to know ok...clearly do we have to pay or not?"

Now i'm fucking blur, what day is it btw, Fuck-Me day?
Shitted...more like ostopizdelo-sranaya-manda!!!

I apologize for having to blog all of that shit, but i blog to vent my anger. I heard kick-boxing helps, should try it sometime.

Anyways, i was quite absent-minded on sunday, i forgot it was mother's day, actually called home, spoke to mum for about 10mins, and then hari walks in and shouts "Happy Mother's Day aunty!!!"...fuck!..and i didn't even wish my mum.

So i pulled a fast one about getting side-trackked by such a gorgeous person i.e:her, on the phone and lots of other crap like that.
Apologized for not doing anything special this year but got a diff reaction:
"Noooooooo...your brothers were wonderful, they made me breakfast in bed and bought me roses, moreover you dad's not in town so it was quality time with the boys.I even got a card with your name in it."
*shitted-now i owe my brothers one major favour*
What would i do without you guys?

As usual my support systems already in 6th gear when its only a 5-speed gear box.
This week's going to be one major stress generator.

I seriously am wondering when did people stop respecting other people?...How do you justify doing things behind my back and then expecting me to respect you for your effort?- Humor me!

At the rate things are going, i'm going to end up being one major pain to all those around me.
Cut me some slack guys...

Highlight of the day: Saw an angel in red standing across the street.

MASSAD 06'

MASSAD stands for Malaysian Students Annual Dinner.Brainchild of 2nd Year Medical Students in M2. It came with its ups and downs, but i'd say it had more ups than downs.

Am going to miss all this studenty crap once i'm home. Guess growing up comes with a price eh?















Dipta's famous self-portraits with me in it...
Truth is, i love spoiling the pics, and she secretly loves having me do that..


Ms.'me,myself and i' aka Syu...hair boy, i mean hari boy ...as usual the frames all about the one infront of me. A couple of days back i had to explain to her that slavery was abolished a very long time ago, hence she should grant me my freedom...at the rate things are going even after graduation i'd be doing chores...for both my bosses (azie and syu).

Kursk 06'

Immortalization of our moment of glory...
Go V!!! hehehehe...am soo full of myself.














See what adrenaline and endorphines do to you?















Our 'Presidential Suite', Kursk Style.
Hahahaha...Yes now i'm being plain bitchy.
Btw, our room was the best in the Hotel.
It really was a SUITE.














The entire team excluding 'piggy'...This was right after we arrived at the hotel lobby.
Soo many people yet there's no one to play with on Saturdays...how's that possible?














Cheerleaders...gotta love em, (ok bad thoughts)
No seriously, they were good...
I enjoyed watching them...perform.

Vote for ME!

Was up at 0630hrs, needed to run and think.

Run i did, think i did not. The day was beautiful, was just concentrating on the moment. As they say, 'to be truly happy, you'd have to live in the present'. Running's therapeutic even if you don't use the time for thinking.

I really can't put a finger on what's bothering me...there's always tomorrow to attempt thinking while running. Maybe it has something to do with me not being able to multitask.
I know that bothers a couple of people around me, especially Syu but thats because she chooses to talk to me while i'm playing with the PDA or watching TV or you know...important stuff.
If i'd be able to multitask then i'd be able to run while thinking and vice-versa.

Feeling all fired up, Syu and I headed out for 'otrabotka', got there and we were greeted by a tightly sealed dept entrance. Good sign, no class then. Decided the day's too precious so slotted in stuff to do.

Its unwinding day-we gathered at Coffee Mania. Reena and Syu kept calling me perv, for what reason i don't know...ok i choose not to know.Wingman did not defend me.Perfect-3 against 1.
What were today's cerebral orgasms about?
Besides giving me a tough time...nothing really.
No wait, we did talk about our on going election/nomination thing before the AGM.

My acute observation tells me that medical students in Moscow have got their heads in the right place.
Everyone wants to be Dr.M!
Ok those who are lost- MMSA (Moscow Malaysian Student's Association) is holding their elections now. Every avaricious MOFO is busy putting him/herself out now to be nominated.
They are actually campaigning! No Shit!
So, me being me- as in the snarky person that i am, decided i should at least leave behind a memorable nomination.
Syu and I decided that we'll nominate each other for all posts.(childish but fun)

On the brightside, Malaysia's future doctors will also be literate in Political Science.Fantastic.

After parking ass, we walked to our favourite book store, and again i find my hobby too expensive to maintain...didn't buy anything, just looked around. But if anyone's interested in buying me a pre-graduation gift (no reens baby you not included), then there's this book by Milan Kundera-Ignorance...trust me, it makes a perfect gift.

Dmitry gave me 2 options during coffee :
a) Watch Scary Movie 4 with him at 1900hrs.
b)Watch Scary Movie 4 with him at 1900hrs.
And yes, most people know how i feel about scary movies-they tease my brains.
Somehow, today sitting in the cinema, it felt like the most logical thing to do- Get lost in a movie which only induces laughter albeit dumb.

Lesson of the day: regardless of how tempting it is, don't sit next to reena while watching a movie-she hits you even before the scene starts...you'd leave the cinema bruised.

Tomorrow's going to be a long day, working @ 1200hrs and am planning to run while thinking, or think while running so i'd have to be up by 0630hrs. Around 1800hrs is the 'Malaysian Night' thingy organized by M2, promised Gerard i'd be there...so yea...cheers to a long day ahead.