Wednesday, September 17, 2014

*shoulder shrugs*

"Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul"-Ezra Taft Benson.

I have used this quote before, a long long time ago, when I didn't have mortgages and commitments to think about. A time where, my biggest problem would be getting through a paper.

I am a party bag of emotions right now, party bag here refers to the snack packs that you buy of cocktail nuts, aptly named 'party bags'.

Your soul, knows.

Some of us have the luxury of knowing what falling in love feels like , I can't say that I belong to that group. Luck hasn't been on my side in that category. I guess it is a blessing to not know of the earth shattering , soul wrenching and heartbreaking emotion , lucky aren't I? to be spared the torture...to be spared the torture of knowing or having a sense of belonging, to be spared the torture of being looked at with eyes that say "you are mine", to be spared the torture of sharing blankets or fighting for it.

Your soul, just knows.

There is a feed back mechanism built in within us for every single thing. We know if we are attracted and like something - our body produces a response to it...most of the time it may be something empty and shallow like lust. We enjoy the company of certain people and our body and mind produces a reaction to it making us gravitate towards that person or people. We all thrive on positive emotions or energy. We all like 'feeling good'. And there is no way we should settle for less.

Your soul, only your soul, knows.

What do you call a situation where your reality is far sweeter than your dreams? How do you explain that knot in your stomach when you know you have competition for the same persons attention? Why do we selfishly and secretly wish no one else finds what you have? Is it wrong to be selfish? Is it wrong to be narcissistic-ally sure that you have it in you to make things work?

I am a hopeless romantic who believes in happy endings. who is yet to find her happy ending. A simple " good night" sounds like a punishment , like a deliberate act to demoralize and create a realistic perspective of things.

But your soul knows...

.....it whispers gently first "look...there's your twin soul"

It gives you courage.

It reminds you time and again , when things seem off that "isn't it too much of a coincidence that it fits well?"...."why are you looking for reasons for it to fail?" It asks again.

You then step up to the challenge and say " oh I don't know, I don't think going through something heart wrecking sounds like fun, anyways, I have found a way to survive, its called self preservation, I will make it, don't worry about me,"

And then it hits your like a storm, when you least expect it, on a random Saturday evening through dinner and beers....that if you don't do it now, you just never ever will.

Here's an Interesting song to listen to:
As fall out boy ( a band) would say " I don't care what you think as long as its about me..."

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