Redemption

I remember being a Houseofficer, I remember not being able to check my mails or blog or read as i would normally do.
That was by far the fastest year of my life,no actually,last year passed pretty fast too...well the point i was getting to was; everytime i visit prawn prawn's page i expect it to be updated when in reality i knew that it wouldnt be and yet i was taking a chance.

Chance...now chance...is an interesting word, chance could mean risk or advantage.Interesting how it could mean 2 very opposing poles.
So chances...i'm not very good at taking chances.
Another thing that i'm greatly against is indecision.

Indecision is costly, painful, irritating, spells weakness in character...you get me.

The point i was trying to make was, i think, and i admit that i did wrong by someone. Wrong by my standards.
Of course i had reasons to believe that i disliked anyone crowding my space or controlling me,but, i know i did wrong by this person. All of this happened when i decided to sit back and reflect upon my behaviour...which was just before my birthday...also a lot of it had to do with my recent embarkment on a journey i knew i wasn't willing to see through till the end.

All that aside, here's who i think i am...or atleast who i think i've become:
I'm very very very aloof, to anyone and everyone.
I like my space.
I dislike immaturity and absolute stupidity
I am very vigorously being as objective and as non judgemental as i could be.
I have a thick lead wall...

SO,this would then bring us back to the year 2008...oh my,its 2010...time really waits for no one.
I met someone in 2008, who left me confused and in pain...the kind of good pain,you know the 'misarable' feeling.Me being me,too proud and walled up, decided to back off and look for as many flaws and loop holes i could possibly find because,honest to god,i haven't felt anything soo electrifying and charged like that in a LONG LONG LONG time.
*Each 'long' denotes one year.

So, then the defensive side of me found every flaw and disected it like a skillful surgeon looking for the finest of misfits,dislikes,incompatibilities and of course, i was successful.

Happily or unknowingly unhappily successful.

At that time,when you are confused and in pain,it would seem like the correct thing to do.

Right now,corrective measure: i've made peace with this person,not entirely, because people will remember how you made them feel.It takes time and a long long time...especially when the wound is pretty deep.
We had coffee today,it was easy flowing and...very very honest.

Why did i go through all of that?...am i just trying to seek redemption?
The way things seem to be unfolding,i am taking on corrective measures...and i am installing "preventive measures" in me.

Will i be successful?...will this person forgive me?...there's no clean slate with this one.

Soiree

You know how your thoughts become a self fulfilling prophecy? Well, its TRUE, let me tell you why.

So, i have this habit where i'd look at the most peculiar spots in a particular area,and think of a likely mishap relating to that area and how so often you see it on television.

Eg: The space between the lift doors and the landing of a floor?...notice how it attracts your key to fall through it?...well,i always wondered what would it be like have your keys fall through it,and of course wonder why the probability of it happening on television is far greater than in reality. (Of course all this is based solely on my limited experience.)

Walking in at about half past 5, i thought to myself, why not i catch a quick nap and then head out to the gym and join the rest after for a movie at 2200H?

After a much needed LAZE...not SNOOZE...i moved out of my horizontal position and walked out of the door at 2000H, met my housemate at the lift and the both of us chatted all the way down.Not realizing that i already had my keys in my hands(left handed-thus keys in left hand),i absentmindedly unclutched my grip with the intention of fishing for my keys in my bag,this with absolute precision had to happen while i was getting out of the lift, which, yes, meant my keys falling through!

Precise train of thought at that moment "I knew it,i should've stopped imagining it after the first 2 times,look at the mess i've gotten myself into,damn,damn...the movies in 2 hours,shit...no working out today...damn"

My now stunned housemate, has no idea how to react, except to offer a ride and maybe his spare key,which i politely turned down,because being the anal retentive person that i am, i won't be going anywhere till i get my keys back!

Time 2008H

So i called the lift service number and requested for a technicians expert hand in the matter,which of course, Mr.Lee (the one attending the hotline) informed me would cost an arm,especially since its after hours. I explained that i understood and told them that i was stuck outside my residence,to which he assured me i would be attended to in half hour.

Time 2020H

Finally at 2040H, Mr.Nizam the technician, calls and tells me in a horrible chinese accent that he'll be at my place in half an hour,so finally at 2120,i paid Mr.Nizam an arm and thanked him profusely, to which he surprisingly answered back in flawless,accentless Malay. (i think visuals are important)

Due to Mr Nizam's prompt action i managed to make it for the movie at 2200.

If you really must know, your twisted thoughts do cost you dearly if you ask me...now there goes lunch money for the next 5 days!One Helluva Soiree..although i'm not too sure if its applicable for a technician,an idiot, a bunch of keys and a lost housemate.

Discreet Charm?

My weaknesses include a nicely brewed cup of coffee and most breads (not white,can't stand white bread)...it could be anything from a simple wholemeal roll to a merry looking multigrain fruit loaf.That said, in Penang, there are 2 very nice places that bake their own bread at reasonable prices, first:Rainforest-Bread Artisans and next:Continental bakery,i personally prefer buying a nice rye loaf from Rainforest although Continental has a wider choice as far as wholemeal rolls are concerned.

Sometime last week,when i had gone to Rainforest to pick up a loaf of multigrain bread, i came across a very quaint looking corner shop cafe'...the kind that has a sign outside with the specials but has no name on its front.This place is soo discreetly located on the heritage walk route that unless you are a tourist or one with a penchant for picking up hidden gems,you'd most definitely miss it.

What really caught my attention was the espresso machine and the nicely treated and lacquered wooden front doors.As how most curious minds work, i parked and walked in. The place was empty, as they were i assume preparing for dinner.Attending the bar was a young girl called Marissa and there were 2 other people there running about getting things sorted-Mellissa and Anuar.

Anuar fixed me a nice flat white, and i mean a nice flat white. The place was charming, exactly the kind of place i would run.It was tastefully decorated and not over done,there were reading materials and there was a dining room...there were bar stools and they served CAIPIRNHAs and MOJITOS!...

Getting good Mojitos...in Malaysia?...hardly heard of,except maybe in QBAR...

I made my journal entry while savouring my flat white and i enjoyed it.It was silent enough to think and ponder and yet it didn't feel cold or secluded.They have a breakfast menu, i think i know where i'll be spending my sunday mornings.

The Inaugaration of another eventful year!

Shakespeare once said, all's well that ends well. Maybe. I'm not so sure. Plausible.

Dec 29th, presented itself quite nicely, for one, i got things moving slowly and things are working out just nicely.

-I'm doing part time research with the clinical research centre of Penang

-I'm sitting for my AMC in May

Got a few things from my wishlist working out, the E72, the running shoes, the Mont blanc...you know shallow temporary needs.

The DSLR?...was replaced with some citigroup shares...and paying for my AMCs...

So that aside, clarity hits you in many forms, it could be a fight, a nice chat, it could be someone breaking down  things for you...whatever it is, clarity is clarity.

The way things are done towards you or upon you, usually is self explainatory...exchanges are crucial,it tells you how you are viewed...no love goggles...no biased opinion,which is why, you should be careful what you wish for. On my birthday, i asked people whom i considered important to tell me what i should change about myself, most of them refused to colaborate...i was a little disappointed but that just said that i had a lot of love around me, or everyone around me owns a pair of goggles.

I should've known better.Besides the Autobahn, i don't know of any roads without bumps and holes. Even the Autobahn is limited. On new year's eve though,i hit a road of absolute clarity...which has left me in a slightly awkward position. I don't intend to get into it now, but in a nutshell, i've never been in soo much pain in a long time. Oh well, apparently, that ended well for most parties concerned.

To sum up my journey so far?...it started wonderfully, met with a horrible hole whice caused a tire change and i'm back on the road again. Sometimes, you need to get over the hiccoughs earlier through the journey just so that you'd be better equipped through the remainder of the journey.

Am i venting?...not quite.

Am i excited? Hell Yeah!