Thats the name of the movie thats playing in the background as i type this out.Its been sometime hasn't it?well,don't worry we didn't miss much.For starters...well,my sense of humor is returning.I still am struggling with my little black hole and my transfer back to either Ipoh or KL is on the way.
What tickled me today was the fact that i have a colleague in a different department by the name of Candy.I mean seriously,how many of you would take a doctor with a stripper name seriously?I know i won't,mostly because i've got wicked mental pictures.That aside,my day at work was good,and i am trying to see my future all over again.
I read something interesting yesterday,about the future and faith.Something to the effect of having to take a journey,we know of a destination in mind but we can't see the entire way sitting in a car can we?...we mostly see about 200feet...and the rest is based upon a believe that there's a clear path beyond the 200ft.So yes faith is it,we all need to believe in something don't we?some believe in the power words,others alcohol,most of us secretly in the power of love and some a higher being...i'm still a little lost.
What i crave most?my optimism and my unfaltering believe that i am pretty capable of the impossible.I miss being able to picture my future and simply build castles in the air.I miss that person that i used to be.When will i become me again?...soon i hope,thats my faith in time consoling me.
To White Zinfandels and Pinot Noirs.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Acceptance.
I remember reading sometime back that the universe always sends you subtle messages and always conspires to give you what you want.When you don't take heed of the subtle messages and ignore the signs,it sends you one major event...just to realign your position about yourself and goals in general.
That said, i had a major event or more like i am coming out of a major event currently.What this actually made me, was (corny but true) a stronger and more honest person.When you take time and meditate and focus on things that upset you or seem to be like a splinter in your nail bed,you actually tend to get a clearer picture of your true position in all your issues.
Its of utmost importance that the one person you don't lie to is YOURSELF,and its imperative that you accept all your short comings and realize that if you were created perfectly, life wouldn't be appreciated as much as it should be. If all of us were perfectly created,things could get pretty mundane and that pretty much sucks the fun out of achieving something.
Its Yin and Yang, there has to be balance to life. I'm blessed with above average intelligence and a job with infinite prospects,a loving family fantastic friends and yet i have my own insecurities,all of us do but its about acceptance.Its about loving yourself, its about accepting yourself and your flaws.Its about having high expectations and not impossible expectations.Which reminds me, there was this quote i read sometime back, "Anyone who said nothing is impossible should try slamming a revolving door!"
In a nutshell, The March Saga needed to happen,it opened my eyes, it led me to acceptance, it led me to awareness...Hopefully,one day, you'll read a post which describes me having made peace with all my demons. Till the next one!
That said, i had a major event or more like i am coming out of a major event currently.What this actually made me, was (corny but true) a stronger and more honest person.When you take time and meditate and focus on things that upset you or seem to be like a splinter in your nail bed,you actually tend to get a clearer picture of your true position in all your issues.
Its of utmost importance that the one person you don't lie to is YOURSELF,and its imperative that you accept all your short comings and realize that if you were created perfectly, life wouldn't be appreciated as much as it should be. If all of us were perfectly created,things could get pretty mundane and that pretty much sucks the fun out of achieving something.
Its Yin and Yang, there has to be balance to life. I'm blessed with above average intelligence and a job with infinite prospects,a loving family fantastic friends and yet i have my own insecurities,all of us do but its about acceptance.Its about loving yourself, its about accepting yourself and your flaws.Its about having high expectations and not impossible expectations.Which reminds me, there was this quote i read sometime back, "Anyone who said nothing is impossible should try slamming a revolving door!"
In a nutshell, The March Saga needed to happen,it opened my eyes, it led me to acceptance, it led me to awareness...Hopefully,one day, you'll read a post which describes me having made peace with all my demons. Till the next one!
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Sunday Brunch
I had a fabulous weekend,you know the kind thats just impromptu and filled with familiarity.
The Folks came down on saturday and decided to spend the weekend with me,since i've been rather labile with my moods (which isn't soo labile anymore).Sadly, this was my working weekend,which pretty much means i'm clocking in extra hours at work.
Being the wonderful people that they are,they just tagged along,without complaints!
We did the whole lazy sunday brunch and MPH-ing,with witty banter and planning holidays,before i darted off to work and then rejoined them 4 hours later to send them off and a quick bite.
Which reminds me,i just finished this book called the Hindi-Bindi Club about naturalized Americans and 1st generation American Indians.Well,the point i was getting to was,there is this character called Rani McGuiness who hit very close to home.She is highly intelligent and creative but is susceptible to clinical depression.Her parents,Patrick and Uma are supportive and they are her best friends and biggest fans (very much like my folks-they are my biggest fans-even when i draw something sooo terrible only your mum would say "oh honey,its...hmmm...expressive?")
OK...so,now i am paying special attention to this character...
Now,she is the character that spoke to me and in a nutshell,my next plan is to get my chakras realigned.
Which reminds me,Reena once said,all great minds suffer some form of depression...or self conflict...which reminds me about another thing that i've come to realise.
I used to and still do look at reena and jason for the 'security blanket' that i customarily seek and receive from my folks.Its something that i cultivated in Moscow,my parents were too far and my 2 great friends,were there for me.
I like my long posts,mostly because most of you would've lost my train of thought at the 2nd chapter and wouldn't have figured out what the hell i just went on a tangent about.
Either ways,one day my life will flash before my eyes,and i want to make sure its worth watching.
My glass is ALWAYS half full...it sadly has a crack...for the time being.
The Folks came down on saturday and decided to spend the weekend with me,since i've been rather labile with my moods (which isn't soo labile anymore).Sadly, this was my working weekend,which pretty much means i'm clocking in extra hours at work.
Being the wonderful people that they are,they just tagged along,without complaints!
We did the whole lazy sunday brunch and MPH-ing,with witty banter and planning holidays,before i darted off to work and then rejoined them 4 hours later to send them off and a quick bite.
Which reminds me,i just finished this book called the Hindi-Bindi Club about naturalized Americans and 1st generation American Indians.Well,the point i was getting to was,there is this character called Rani McGuiness who hit very close to home.She is highly intelligent and creative but is susceptible to clinical depression.Her parents,Patrick and Uma are supportive and they are her best friends and biggest fans (very much like my folks-they are my biggest fans-even when i draw something sooo terrible only your mum would say "oh honey,its...hmmm...expressive?")
OK...so,now i am paying special attention to this character...
Now,she is the character that spoke to me and in a nutshell,my next plan is to get my chakras realigned.
Which reminds me,Reena once said,all great minds suffer some form of depression...or self conflict...which reminds me about another thing that i've come to realise.
I used to and still do look at reena and jason for the 'security blanket' that i customarily seek and receive from my folks.Its something that i cultivated in Moscow,my parents were too far and my 2 great friends,were there for me.
I like my long posts,mostly because most of you would've lost my train of thought at the 2nd chapter and wouldn't have figured out what the hell i just went on a tangent about.
Either ways,one day my life will flash before my eyes,and i want to make sure its worth watching.
My glass is ALWAYS half full...it sadly has a crack...for the time being.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Serendipity
Should that be what i should call the entire month of March to be?
Maybe.
That said,identifying triggers and trying to control them aren't exactly the smartest moves in the world.On the contrary i might actually aggreviate a few symptoms.
So,i'm trying to move to a phase where i'd be able to remove the third leg and stop scrutinizing all my moves.Is this my path to enlightenment?
As Reena eloquently put it,all great minds went through depression and emotional turmoil...apparently i am a part of the elite group of great thinkers.
(oh how i wish that was true)
Otherwise...i'm in a phase of wines and books,more like, my book phase stayed on,and i'm an annoying self proclaimed wine snob,no really...lets go drink some togther,i'll prove it.
Till the next cork.
Maybe.
That said,identifying triggers and trying to control them aren't exactly the smartest moves in the world.On the contrary i might actually aggreviate a few symptoms.
So,i'm trying to move to a phase where i'd be able to remove the third leg and stop scrutinizing all my moves.Is this my path to enlightenment?
As Reena eloquently put it,all great minds went through depression and emotional turmoil...apparently i am a part of the elite group of great thinkers.
(oh how i wish that was true)
Otherwise...i'm in a phase of wines and books,more like, my book phase stayed on,and i'm an annoying self proclaimed wine snob,no really...lets go drink some togther,i'll prove it.
Till the next cork.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
