Lost in translation?
"what the fuck was that babe?...read my comment...i'm going to bed now,"
"oh ok then...sleep tight..have a good day tomorrow...love you,"
"love ya too...night night,"
Currently communication seems to be the biggest problem in a world where satelite phones
dominate and define our very exsistance...
Someone very dear to me is going through a small predicament-Delivering bad news also known as the truth.
Here's the problem, we delude ourselves into thinking that we should be delicate,tactful,frank yet subtle etc while confronting a friend but seriously how?
After much deliberation and thought, the best way seemed to be the hardest i.e: explaining the situation without sugar coating it and then
presenting an ultimatum.
Which is the exact moment when defence mechanism comes into play...this is basically illustrated in the predator-prey model.
The predator,moves in...attacks...eats...moves on...
The prey on the other hand...doesnt see the predator move in, but somehow figures out its being attacked...does everything in its fragile position to not become
the latest culinary delight...but somehow fails...and well yes...the ending is the same as the predators story...
Basically, defence mechanism is the moment fm which the prey learns he's being attacked till the moment his down some lucky bastard's GI track...which in my beloved's case was pretty much the same not because the prey was the prey...but because the prey was actually a predator in disguise...
Well the prey in question who,in my opinion is guilty as charged created a parallel dimension in the discussion whereby he was made to look like the bloody victim who wasn't given a fair trial. He was given a fair trial but he wasn't listening...it was like selective hearing or something!!
Probably at this moment...all these may seem like jargon...but its something we all face at some point of our lives.
So,when i was approached with this problem...my first question was,does this person in question have an Extrinsic or Intrinsic Locus of control?
Answer : Extrinsic Locus of control...
(NB:Difference between Extrinsic and Intrinsic-Extrinsic's when you believe you are not to be blamed for any of the mishaps in your life and you are the victim.Intrinsic is when you take control over your life and believe only you can make a difference and no one's to be blamed should anything go wrong.)
Now, Game Plan---call me a manipulative asshole but the most logical approach to this problem was by letting this person know that he's right...he IS the victim...and we are worthless,insensitive and selfish people.
Guess what?...it worked...it worked!!!...confession: i am not proud of my course of action...but the point is...it yielded the results we wanted.
Communication's a tricky subject if u ask me...which is why most of the time...i try my level best to not communicate!...
Which i think is the main contributor to my deteriorating command of the english language...my sentences are mainly composed of grunts and the odd "what?"
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1 comment:
in addition to all that, may I just add, that if communication isn't the problem, acceptance will be. vicious cycle,eh?
it seems as though the prey (which turned out to be a predator) forgot one thing: whatever his response, and next further steps, would in fact be, impulsive. Thus, leaving him open to making mistakes. A pre-emptive attack is always better than an impulsive one, no?
if we were to stop sugar coating things, where would phone-sex go? don't take the fun out of things just because you want things to go your way. If the girl on the other side says,"I'm TAKING MY PANTS OFF" instead of "I'm reaching down...touching myself, ohhhh...ooopss, there goes my pants." where's the fun in that???
diplomacy and tact usually walk right out the door when attacks are impulsive, thus leaving room for far bigger mistakes, yes?
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